Kenzie shrugged, letting her hand brush across some lavender and breathing in the heady aroma. ‘Christmas has always been spent with Mum and Jack at the farm. Everything’s going to change now.’
‘Everything always changes,’ he pointed out calmly. ‘Our parents always threw big Christmases, then everything changed once they didn’t have little kids to keep the Santa story going. Then we all grew up and left home. I remember my mum really struggling with it at first, but eventually, grandkids came along and she was back in the thick of it again. It isn’t the same as it used to be. It’s different, but it’s still good.’
She took a moment to process his words. It was true that motherhood came with a lot of highs and lows, and even though she hadn’t experienced her child becoming an adult, which she could only imagine would be an enormous thing to have to accept, shehadexperienced a lot of little changes that she’d mourned—the moment she realised Poppy no longer had that new baby smell and would never be that tiny, perfect baby ever again, the moment when she’d first dropped her baby at daycare, the moments when Poppy had started doing things for herself. And she remembered the pride and joy each new day brought as she watched her baby grow from a toddler to a little girl and the amazing person she was becoming.
‘Yeah, but Poppy’s only four. I never expected it to change like this.’
‘I can’t say I know what you’re going through, because I don’t, but I can imagine. I want to experience Christmas with her, Kenzie. I want to be there for her birthday parties and Easter and all the hundreds of other little moments that will become memories, just the way you have. Can we at least try to work out a way to make that happen?’
His words hit her unexpectedly. She wanted to feel defensive and angry, but instead, she was just sad—for Ewan. He’d already missed all the things she’d been lucky enough to be there for. She couldn’t imagine ever having not been part of the milestones—her first tooth, her first steps, first words. Tears began to well. ‘I know I can’t be selfish,’ she said quietly, ‘and I want those things for you and her too … it’s just … it’s going to take me a while to get used to sharing her. But you have to also remember Poppy in all of this. She’s just a little girl, and all this change is going to affect her too.’
‘I understand that,’ he acknowledged, ‘but her and the boys seem to get on like a house on fire, and Mum and she have been almost inseparable. I honestly don’t think she’s going to be as affected as you’re worrying she’ll be. But of course, none of us would ever do anything that wasn’t in Poppy’s best interests.’
It was true that Poppy did seem at ease, but that was while Kenzie was always somewhere nearby. It could be a different story if she were down here by herself, down the track. ‘Wecan try and work out a way to make those things happen. As long as it’s done gradually. I don’t want to rush her.’ Orbe rushedfor that matter, she added to herself.
‘That’s fair,’ he said, sounding relieved. ‘I know it may have felt like I pushed you into coming here,’ he said, then gave a rueful grin. ‘Okay Ididpush,’ he admitted, ‘but I promise, no one’s going to force you into anything.’
‘Thank you,’ she said, turning her head towards him.
‘Thankyou,’ he said quietly, his face a mask of sincerity, ‘for giving me the chance to get to know her.’
For a long moment, they held each other’s gaze, neither in a hurry to see the fragile moment of unity end. Slowly, he leaned towards her and Kenzie welcomed the now familiar warmth he could create inside her with nothing more than a kiss.
It was different tonight, though. There wasn’t the urgency of the few times before, this was a slower, more curious kiss. Their hands moved across each other, slowly tracing lines and skin. They took their time, the kiss deepening before easing back and becoming playful, until the need to get closer, to have more, became an ache neither of them could ignore any longer and her hands began tugging at his shirt.
She stopped and frowned when he held her hands still and gave a low chuckle that bordered on a painful groan. ‘As much as everything’s telling me to get you naked right now, I can’t in good faith make love to you in my mother’s prize-winning garden … at least not after taking you in the shower like some randy teenager.’
‘I really don’t mind,’ she said, her body protesting its frustration at the withdrawal of his attention.
‘I want to do this right, in comfort. And without the threat of a rose bush thorn in my backside. Come on,’ he said, tugging her into the crook of his arm. ‘Let’s get out of here.’
Twenty-eight
Kenzie woke up slowly, smiling softly at the familiar feel of Poppy tucked snugly in behind her, until it occurred to her that Poppy didn’t normally fit around her entire back. Her eyes shot open in alarm, and she glanced down and noticed the large hand draped over her hip and long arm attached.Not. Poppy’s.
The night before came racing back, and a tingling sensation reverberated throughout her body at the memory, until another thought intruded rudely: Ewan was still in her bed.
She sat up, casting his arm off her and waking him up in the process.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, looking ready to leap into action and wrestle a tiger as he scanned the room with blurry eyes.
‘You’re still here. You need to go.’
He visibly relaxed when he realised there was no need to fight anything and ran a hand through his tousled hair before using both hands to rub his face. ‘It’s okay. No one will even know I’m here.’
‘They will if they see you sneaking out of my room!’
He glanced at the watch on his wrist before giving a small grunt. ‘Nope. They’ll already be up and about.’
‘Seriously?’ she asked, grabbing hold of his wrist and turning it to read the time. ‘I can’t believe this. I have never slept in this much in my entire life,’ she muttered. ‘Your mother is going to think I can’t take care of my own child.’
‘No, she won’t. She knows what it’s like to be a busy mother and needing rest.’
‘I don’t have time to rest.’
‘Clearly.’ He grinned.
‘Usually,’ she snapped. ‘And I don’t know why you’re so calm. We’ve been sleeping together underneath your parents’ roof. They know we met years ago and then again just recently … what will they think of me once they realise we’ve been …’ Her despair faltered slightly.
