One
Jenny Hayward flopped down on the lounge chair, kicked off her shoes and closed her eyes as she let out a slow breath. Home. The silence of the house was like a soothing balm to the hectic pace of the hospital. It’d been a long day—a longtwo years, if she were being honest. That was when her husband of twenty-seven years had announced he was moving out.
Lost in the shock and pain of his betrayal, Jenny had turned the house into her sanctuary, doing a clean-out of anything she didn’t find comforting or calming. Her best friend, Beth—dark-haired, Italian-Maltese—became a slightly more intimidating version of the decluttering queen, Marie Kondo, as she held open a garbage bag and barked, ‘Does it bring you joy? No? Well chuck it!’ In a couple of days, they’d transformed the house. It had been nothing short of a miracle.
Jenny had never been a big believer in the whole crystals and energy hocus-pocus the way Beth was, but weary andheartsick, she couldn’t have summoned the strength to protest even if she’d wanted to when Beth had told her to ‘leave everything to me’.
As far as makeovers went, there hadn’t been anyone better qualified for the job. Beth had always had a knack for decorating and had done a course, intending to one day turn her talent into a business. She’d filled Jenny’s house with soft furnishings, scattered soothing colours about the rooms and added little touches—a plant here, a Buddha statue there and, of course, her signature crystal-infused candles, which she’d begun making during Covid and had become a booming success.
‘When you’ve been knocked down, bloodstone will pick you back up,’ she’d said, then had placed little pottery bowls of tourmaline near the front and back doors and lit a candle, carrying it through the house like a priest performing an exorcism. ‘This will flush out all the negative vibes and allow the good stuff back in,’ she’d explained as a delicious scent of sage, black tea and bergamot filled the room. In Jenny’s bedroom, she’d scattered amethyst, informing her that it would relieve stress and anxiety and promote a chill vibe for sleeping.
And there’d been more. Beth had placed her candles infused with their healing crystals in every nook and cranny, and as much as Jenny—a level-headed, science-based nurse—wanted to scoff at the ridiculousness of the idea, she’d found herself noticeably calmer and the house, which had always been full of the eggshells she’d been walking on, suddenly felt like ahome.Of course, the candles smelled gorgeous, but maybe therewassomething in the whole crystal thing, because nowher house was a haven and she loved coming home to it at the end of a long shift.
Sometimes it seemed hard to believe the split had been that long ago. Austin had been her life for so long. They’d had a reasonably happy marriage, getting married young and starting a family. Jenny had always wanted a brood of children, but Austin—ever practical—had declared that two kids were all they could afford. Deep down, she’d known he was right. After all, she’d had her hands full with an almost-two-year-old and a newborn. As the girls grew older, she’d learned to ignore the little whimper inside whenever they passed by a baby in the shopping centre. It was silly—she was far too busy for any more children, she’d remind herself.
After Brittany started school and she only had Savannah at home, Austin began to hint at Jenny going back to work. His income as a salesman in a white goods store wasn’t stretching all that far and raising two children on a single wage was never going to get them where they were hoping to go. The only job she’d ever had was as a check-out chick in a grocery store from when she’d left school up until going on maternity leave with Brittany, and as much as she’d enjoyed the job and the people she’d worked with, it had been almost five years and everyone she’d known had moved on. She wanted to do something different, only she wasn’t surewhatexactly. Austin hadn’t been overly sympathetic when she’d brought up her concerns. ‘It’s not like you’ve had any burning ambitions to have a career or anything. We just need something that brings in a pay cheque.’ Which she had to grudgingly admit was true, but it did nothing to still that growing restlessnessshe was noticing inside. All she was any good at was having babies. She loved being a mother, but unfortunately, you didn’t get paid for that, so she knew she needed to start thinking seriously about what would bring in a pay cheque—and what she’d enjoy doing.
In the end, the answer had arrived in the form of her aunty, who’d commented on how short-staffed the hospital system was and that Jenny should think about becoming a nurse.
‘But I didn’t even finish high school,’ Jenny had said.
‘You can go in as a mature student. Do a bridging course and enrol in university. You’d make a great nurse.’
Jenny had chewed the idea over in her head for a while. It hadn’t crossed her mind before. She wasn’t sure why; her aunty was a nurse and she had multiple cousins who were nurses, but she’d always considered herself not quite smart enough to do anything that would require getting a degree.
She’d brought it up with Austin, who’d laughed, then sobered at the look on her face. ‘How would we afford university? That’s a lot of money for something you didn’t even want to do before today.’
‘I wasn’t planning on enrolling right now,’ she snapped, hurt by his lack of encouragement, which immediately caused all her insecurities to resurface. ‘It was just an idea.’
She handed her resume to the local supermarket the next day and managed to pick up a few hours a week. She put Savannah into day care for the days she worked, hating every minute of it. Guilt became Jenny’s constant companion. She felt guilty that she was putting her child in day care when she should be at home looking after her. She felt guilty that sheresented her husband for making her go back to work so early when she knew the money would help out enormously. She felt guilty for hating a job she was lucky to have when there were people who didn’t have one. The guilt went on and on, draining her energy and making her miserable.
Eventually, she’d brought up the nursing idea over coffee with Beth, who’d encouraged her to enrol in a bridging course so she could think about university in the future if she still wanted to. Jenny didn’t tell Austin. What if she failed? What if she couldn’t even get over this first hurdle?
What if you can?her little voice of reason piped up helpfully.
Jenny studied and submitted her assignments and, to her surprise, she was passing—not only passing, but doing better than she’d ever done at school. She discovered she was enjoying it.Her! Enjoyingstudy?It was crazy. Managing to keep her newly acquired diploma a secret, by the end of the year she’d worked up the courage to apply to university to see what happened. To her shock, Jenny was accepted into a nursing degree.
Telling Austin hadn’t been as bad as she’d been anticipating, at least not once she’d assured him she could get a student loan to cover her fees, and so there she was, sitting in a lecture room, surrounded by other people like her—some older, most younger—but other people excited to be taking this next step and forging themselves a bright path into a new career. She’d never felt more alive.
It’d been a crazy time, juggling two small children and study, but she’d managed with Beth lending a hand to babysit and cheer her on. Her graduation had been the proudest dayof her life, with her family travelling to be there and Austin accepting all the congratulations and admiration about how difficult it must have been for them all to have taken such a huge thing on. She’d put aside her irritation, deciding not to bring up the countless arguments they’d had over the time, when he’d occasionally had to cook his own dinner or heaven forbid, find his work clothes in the folding when she’d been struggling to meet a deadline.
Jenny gave a small smile. Back then she’d had so many big plans.
After that, life finally started to get easier. The girls were a little older and both in school. She loved her job and the people she worked with and the extra income—nothing outrageously wonderful—but enough to allow them to move into a bigger house with a backyard and room to grow. Austin had scored a job with a large firm and had his sights set a lot higher than being a white goods salesman. He seemed happier than he’d been in a long time.
Then one day she found herself staring down at two red lines on a pregnancy test.
It wasn’t that she didn’twantanother baby, it was just that their lives had moved on from nappies and toilet training. Brittany was eight and Savannah was six and now she’d be going back to breastfeeding and sleepless nights after taking for granted the fact that she’d finally got both children sleeping in their own beds.
If she hadn’t been so caught up in everything going on, she probably would have realised that it was at this very point in time that her marriage had begun its downhill slide.
‘You can’t be pregnant. Take another test,’ Austin had said after staring at her for what seemed an eternity.
‘I took two,’ she told him dully. But at his insistence, she did a third test and watched his face fall as the twin stripes appeared in the window.
‘I knew I should have got that bloody vasectomy years ago!’ he growled, getting to his feet to pace the room.
‘I didn’t stop you,’ she pointed out.
