‘Sorry Tristan, but I’ve really got to get on with some work. I need to do some filming in Woody.’ Briony snatched up her laptop and walked out of the kitchen before he could respond, with Merlin hot on her heels, tears burning her eyes. She’d been such a fool. She’d really believed that this second chance with Bex might be a proper fresh start, but the mistakes of the past were always going to define who she was in her sister’s eyes, no matter how hard either of them might try to change that. The realisation was already breaking her heart, but it would smash it to smithereens if she stayed. The only solution was to run away for a second time, but she knew it was going to be even more devastating this time around.
Bex had been busy weeding the flower bed behind the sign welcoming visitors to Mordros Farm Campsite, when she’d spotted her sister striding towards her van. It was good to see Briony looking so strong, but there was something about the set of her sister’s shoulders that made her uneasy. Briony looked weighed down by life and even Merlin didn’t look like his usual self; there was no wag of his tail and his ears were down, as though he could pick up on Briony’s mood too. Bex had no idea what had happened, but she knew she had to find out, fear already coursing through her veins that it might have something to do with her sister’s health, or their mum’s.
Dropping her hand trowel into the dirt, she hurried after Briony, but as fast as she was moving, the door of the van had already been slammed shut before she reached it.
‘Briony, what’s wrong?’ she called out, rapping her knuckle against the door.
‘Go away.’ Her sister sounded exactly like she had as a teenager when she was in the kind of bad mood that even she couldn’t explain the reason for.
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ Bex tried the handle but it wouldn’t open. ‘For God’s sake, just let me in.’
‘No, go away.’
‘Let me in or I’ll just stand out here until you do, and we both know who’ll get fed up of waiting first.’ They’d had standoffs like this in the past and Briony had always been the one to cave in first. Maybe that explained why they’d spent so long in silence, because it had needed to be Bex who gave up the grudge that time around, and she didn’t know how to give up. She’d had to be the strong one growing up, an adult way before her time, and Briony had always been able to be the child.
‘I don’t want to talk to you about this, there’s no point.’ Despite her words, Briony flung the door open as she spoke.
‘Look, I’ve got no idea what’s going on, but whatever it is, shutting down isn’t going to solve it.’
‘Christ, that’s rich coming from you. You shut down on me for sixteen years.’ There was a pulse twitching underneath Briony’s right eye.
‘Is that what this is about? I thought we’d agreed to move on from that and use this as a new beginning.’ Bex tried to keep her tone even, but she could hear the frustration in her own voice.
‘Youagreed, you mean. I wanted to talk about what happened so that we could have a proper fresh start, instead of trying to paper over the cracks, but oh no, Bex knows best of course.’Briony’s voice was shaking with emotion, but Bex couldn’t work out whether it was anger or something else. Either way, she could no longer conceal her own annoyance.
‘What’s the point of raking it all up again, it’s not going to change what happened, is it?’
‘Nothing’s going to change what happened, and I’ve realised today that there can never be a fresh start between us, because you still think I’m the same person you decided I was back then; the one who cheated on her sister’s fiancé. So whatever I do to try and show you I’m not her, you’re never going to believe it.’
‘I’ve told you it doesn’t matter.’ Bex was still infuriated with her sister. She wanted to put the past behind them, what more could she have done than open up her home and her heart to Briony? But even as the frustration bubbled up inside her, she knew she wasn’t being entirely honest with herself, because she was still guarding a part of her heart and Briony must have been able to see that. She wasn’t treating her the way she would have done if nothing had ever happened to cause a rift between them and that was causing her sister pain, something she’d never intended to do. The sadness in Briony’s eyes made Bex’s throat constrict, but even if she’d been able to find the words to make things right, her sister wouldn’t have given her a chance to say them.
‘IT DOES MATTER!’ Briony was shouting now and, as Bex took a step towards her, she flinched away, using the now half-closed door of the campervan to create a barrier between them. ‘You warned Tristan to stay away from me, which tells me exactly what sort of person you think I am.’
Bex felt awful, because everything her sister was saying was true. She had warned Tristan off, but it wasn’t that simple; she’d had her reasons and she’d been sure they were for the best. She suddenly realised that actually, this was exactly what Briony hadsaid about what had happened with Liam. It was like history repeating itself and she was terrified that the outcome would be the same too; that their relationship would be ruined all over again. That was the last thing she wanted, and it made her stumble over her words as she tried to offer a response that wouldn’t make things even worse. ‘I didn’t say… That’s not what I meant.’
‘Yes, it is. I think it’ll be better for all of us if I just give us both some space and stay in the van.’ Briony’s tone was suddenly much calmer and for some reason that worried Bex even more.
‘You’re still not fully recovered, and you need to stay in the farmhouse until you are.’
‘I’m not a kid any more. You can’t tell me what to do.’ The petulant tone was back and Bex couldn’t help sighing, a wave of exhaustion at all they’d been through over the past couple of months washing over her. If Briony wanted to sulk like a little kid, Bex was just going to have to let her get on with it, until she was ready to see sense. She might still be holding part of herself back and doing her best to trust her sister again, but most people would understand why that didn’t come easily. However much Briony might wish that life was like a Hollywood movie, the reality was very different. They couldn’t just wave a magic wand and instantly make things perfect between them again. There were bound to be bumps in the road, but they had to navigate them together if they were going to make this work. Maybe it was time for some tough love.
‘You’re right. If you want to stay out here in your van I can’t stop you, but you know where to find me when you get over whatever this is.’
‘Yeah, and you know where to find me when you want to listen to what actually happened with Liam and decide if you can really forgive me, so that we can finally move on, but until then Ithink we’re better off apart.’ Briony pushed the door closed with a gentle click, rather than an over-the-top slam, so she couldn’t see Bex standing there shaking her head. Briony was just being dramatic as usual, but she’d come out the other side of her latest diva moment eventually, she always did. Bex tried not to acknowledge that there was a first time for everything, because there was no way Briony was going to throw away their second chance. The idea that Bex might be the one responsible for throwing it away instead niggled at the back of her mind, but she refused to acknowledge that thought either. It would all be okay, because the alternative wasn’t an option.
20
‘Woody’s gone.’ Tom’s eyes were wide as he came running into the kitchen.
‘Are you sure?’ Bex’s pulse was already racing, but her son had to be mistaken. There were a few campers in the field, and he’d probably just got mixed up. That was what she was desperately trying to tell herself. Her sister wouldn’t just up and leave without saying anything, no matter how big a strop she was in. Not when they’d come so far after so long.
‘I went to see Auntie Briony and the grass where Woody used to be is all yellow.’ Tom’s eyes widened even further. ‘Does that mean she’s gone?’
‘I don’t know, sweetheart.’ Her heart constricted as her little boy’s eyes filled with tears.
‘But she said I could stay in Woody with her for a night when she got better. She said Merlin could sleep on my bed.’
‘I’m sure you still can, sweetheart, she probably just had to go somewhere for a little while and didn’t get the chance to tell us.’ Bex couldn’t stop herself from crossing two of her fingers overone another, but she tucked her hand behind her back so that Tom wouldn’t see.
