Her mother had said all the right things, but it was too late. Bex had seen the reality with her own eyes. The experience of becoming a grandmother would never be as joy-filled as it should have been; because of Briony. All of that was why Bex was struggling so much with the thought of seeing her estranged sister again, and why she couldn’t sit down and relax with her husband and their friends, knowing that the moment when she had to face Briony was getting closer with every passing moment.
‘Are you okay, Bex?’ Rowan asked, getting to her feet too, her baby bump seeming to grow with each passing day now that it had started to blossom.
‘Sorry, I know I’m not great company. I just can’t stop thinking about Monday and Mum’s appointment.’ Bex frowned, but her friend knew her far too well.
‘And about seeing Briony again?’ She was thankful to Rowan for not saying ‘your sister’. She found it really hard when people assigned that title to Briony, it felt far too much like an unbreakable bond, when it had been irretrievably broken years before. ‘I completely understand why the prospect of doing that feels really hard.’
‘If I had a choice, I’d never be in the same room with her again, but this is for Mum and all that matters is saving her. So I’ve got to be there, haven’t I? We’ve got to work together to persuade Mum to let one of us donate, but just the thought of seeing Briony again makes me feel…’ Bex wasn’t even sure she could put it into words because the truth was she had no idea how it would make her feel, except that the emotions bubbling upinside her had all the hallmarks of anxiety. Her head was pounding and her heart was racing, while her stomach churned, and the urge to run away from it all was almost overwhelming. ‘Briony made me feel like less than nothing when she did what she did and it’s taken me years to get past that. I know it’s pathetic, but I don’t ever want to go back to feeling that way again and I’m scared that when I see her, that’s how I’ll feel.’
‘Do you have any idea how loved you are?’ Matt said, getting to his feet too and pulling her into his arms. ‘I’ve had to pinch myself every day since we met that you chose me and not someone else, and that’s never changed. You’re the best mum, and the best wife me and the boys could ever have asked for.’
‘Matt’s not wrong.’ Rowan’s voice was warm. ‘And you’re far from pathetic. Anyone would find it hard to face Briony after what she did to you, but you’ve just got to remember we’ll all be here for you afterwards, whatever happens, and we’re 100 percent on your side.’
‘Thank you so much.’ Bex’s eyes were blurred with tears as she pulled slightly away from Matt to look at her friend. ‘I just don’t know what I’m going to say to her, or how I’ll handle it if she tries to make this all about her. I’m scared she might even go back on what she said and decide to support Mum’s decision not to have the op, if that makes her come out looking like the golden child.’
‘Is she really capable of something like that?’ Nathan shook his head as if he thought that couldn’t possibly be true. Bex didn’t want to believe it either, but after what Briony had done, and the way she’d manipulated their mother and stepfather to somehow feel sorry for her, there was nothing she wouldn’t put past her.
‘I can’t rule it out and I’m even more scared of how I’ll react if she does something like that.’
‘As Rowan says, we’ll all be here for you, and just look ateverything you’ve achieved.’ Nathan nodded, reinforcing his words. ‘You’ve got three incredible boys, a great business that’s developing into something even more exciting, and of course you’ve landed yourself a proper hottie for a husband.’
He laughed, shooting a look in Matt’s direction. They’d become really close over the past year or so and got on as if they’d been good friends their whole lives, having the same kind of good-natured humour.
Matt took a bow. ‘I mean what can I say? Bex is a very lucky woman.’
He was laughing too and for the first time since the call with Ken, it felt as if some of the weight had lifted off her shoulders. Whatever happened with Briony, she was surrounded by people who loved her and who were unconditionally on her side. So she had to agree with her husband.
‘I really am incredibly lucky.’ Resting her head on his shoulder for a moment, she allowed the warm feeling to wash over her. It was going to be okay and, when all the stuff with Briony was finished, this was what she’d be coming back to. That made her luckier than anyone had a right to be.
‘Bex has said she’ll meet us at the hospital too for your mum’s next appointment.’ Ken whispered the words which meant they had nowhere near as much gravitas as Briony felt they deserved. ‘Sorry, I’m in the study, but I can’t risk your mum overhearing, if she knows either of you are going to be there, she won’t turn up.’
‘What else did Bex say?’ Briony knew she should have been grateful that her sister had chosen to be in the same county as her, let alone the same room. She was fully aware that Bex would only be doing it for their mum’s sake, but it felt like hope in a wayshe hadn’t dared to have in over a decade. If she could just get Bex to see her in a different light, then maybe she’d be willing to listen this time and understand why Briony had done what she’d done. She’d managed to make their parents see that things weren’t as black and white as they’d first appeared, and they’d offered to try and speak to Bex about it. But when they’d tried, she’d reacted so badly that it had threatened their relationship with Bex too.
‘I can’t choose between the two of you, sweetheart.’ Donna’s eyes had been brimming with tears when she’d said the words. ‘I’ve told Bex I won’t do that either, but she said if I keep mentioning you in front of her, or trying to force her to hear you out, that she’ll have no choice but to stop seeing me. I couldn’t bear that, Briony, you understand that, don’t you? It’s why I’ve got to keep my life with the two of you completely separate if I don’t want to lose either of you.’
‘Of course I get it,’ she’d said, and her words had been true. It didn’t make it any easier to know that her only hope of reuniting with her sister, the only avenue they had in common, had been completely closed off to her. She’d dared to hope that time might soften things, especially after Bex met Matt and the children had started to arrive, but if anything, that seemed to have strengthened her sister’s resolve. Briony had never wanted her parents to stop mentioning Bex, so she’d heard about all the milestones in her sister’s life, and her heart had ached that she hadn’t been able to be a part of any of them. Never more so than when she’d heard about her nephews’ arrival and had realised she’d never be involved in their lives. She’d known there’d be huge consequences for getting involved with Liam, but she’d convinced herself at the time that it was worth it. She hadn’t allowed herself to think about the possibility of Bex never forgiving her and it costing her everything, the way it had ended up doing. She’d lostcount of the times she’d found herself stalking Matt’s Facebook page, because his privacy settings were much less secure than her sister’s, and looking at photos of Donna and Ken with Bex and her family. Seeing them had been like a physical pain every single time and yet she hadn’t been able to stop herself from doing it, just as she hadn’t been able to stop herself from questioning Ken now, wanting to hear something that could give her back a grain of hope.
‘Nothing really, just that she’d see us there and that she hopes between the three of us we can find a way to make your mum see sense.’
‘What are we going to do if Mum still says no?’
‘She won’t.’ Ken’s tone was more hopeful than certain, but what choice did they have other than to try? ‘Sorry, my love, but I’ve really got to go. Otherwise, your mum might come looking for me, and if she catches me on the phone to you, she’s going to know there’s something up.’
‘Okay, I’ll see you on Monday then.’
‘See you Monday. Take care now, won’t you?’
‘You too.’ She wished in that moment that he’d told her that he loved her. She knew he did, he just wasn’t the sort of person to express himself like that, and they’d barely spoken to one another on the phone in the past, so it would have felt like a very odd way to end the call. But right now, she really needed to hear it from someone. The only person she could call and guarantee to be told that she was loved by was her mum, but Briony was too worried she might say something to give the game away about what was happening on Monday. And Briony just couldn’t risk blowing it all. She could only imagine how Bex would react if she did something to scupper their chances of persuading their mum to have the operation she so desperately needed. She’d be the villain of the piece yet again.
So here she was, in her mid-thirties, with no one else she could call and be told that she was loved. How sad was that? The only time she ever got told that was in the comments on her online posts. Total strangers telling her how amazing she was and how much they adored her. She knew it wasn’t real and yet she was craving it more than she ever had before.
‘I wish you could talk, Merlin.’ Briony rubbed the dog between the ears as he dropped his head on to her leg. It wasn’t a ‘Woody’s Words of Wisdom’ day, but suddenly she had an overwhelming urge to go online and talk to her followers. Usually, she planned these things out carefully. She made most of her income from her online presence, and she knew how easily she could lose it all if she said something that could be interpreted the wrong way and alienate her followers, or go viral for all the wrong reasons. Except this time, she couldn’t seem to stop herself from clicking the button on her phone that opened the Instagram app and selecting the option to go live. She had no idea what she was going to say and five minutes later she was still talking, but if someone had asked her what she’d said, she’d have had no idea. Then the words she’d never expected to say came out.
‘You all know me as Holly Day.’ She was staring into the camera, a tiny part of her realising that it wasn’t too late to stop, yet somehow she didn’t. ‘But that’s not my real name. My real name is Briony Deyes. I chose the name Holly because when I was a kid, I was very dramatic and it earned me the nickname Hollywood.’
She paused for a moment, before continuing. ‘It was also because I really wanted to be an actress. Me and my sister used to make up storylines for films all the time, and I was convinced that one day I was going to be an actress, but it wasn’t meant to be.’
Giving a small shrug to prove to her audience that she really was over that dream, she smiled at the memory of all the timesshe and Bex had made up stories and brought them to life in a little world of their own, while their mum was working at least two jobs to keep a roof over their heads. They’d been the happiest days of her life, she’d just had no idea at the time, and the thought made the smile melt off her face. She had to finish her confession.
