‘I’ll let you into a secret. I once ate five chocolate brownies inone sitting, so two ice creams would be easy.’ Holly shrugged, before catching Tristan’s eye. ‘Although on that basis it’s probably just as well that I’m not a parent.’
The words had been intended to be light-hearted, but somehow, they’d made her chest tighten in a way that had taken her by surprise. She’d come to terms with the fact that having a family of her own wasn’t what she was destined to do. Or at least she thought she had, but looking at these two boys – her sister’s sons – it felt like she’d lost the chance of something precious, despite the fact she’d told herself it wasn’t something she wanted.
‘I wish my mum would let us have five brownies.’ Tom licked his lips at the prospect.
‘Even two would be pretty good,’ his brother added, and both boys nodded, for once seeming to agree on something.
‘How about we go and get a bit of exercise before we think about any more food?’ Tristan turned towards the boys as he spoke. ‘We could go for a walk on the beach.’
‘Walking is boring and I’ve been doing it all day at school. I’m exhausted.’ Tom gave a theatrical sigh and this time neither Tristan nor Holly could suppress their smiles.
‘We could always go and make some sand angels on the beach. Me and my sister used to do it all the time, and we always had a competition to see who could make the best one.’
‘Will there be a prize?’ Ollie cocked his head on to one side, his interest clearly piqued.
‘How about I go and get a couple of brownies from Mehenick’s Bakery and we make those the prizes?’ She might not be a parent, but she was wise enough to know that both boys would need to be awarded a brownie in order to avoid the outbreak of World War III.
‘Yay!’ Tom and Ollie hollered the same response, already turning towards the beach.
‘Oh, you’ve started something now. We’re going to have to run to keep up with them.’ Tristan was smiling as he spoke. ‘They’re competitive at the best of times, but they’ve definitely taken a shine to you. I think that means that impressing you is going to be even more important than winning that brownie.’
‘They’re great kids and don’t worry, I’ll make sure they both get a brownie.’ As Holly spoke, a man stepped out of a shop doorway about twenty feet in front of them and she inhaled sharply, turning on her heel and flattening herself against the window of the gift shop they’d just passed, praying that Ken would walk in the opposite direction to them.
‘Do you want to catch us up?’ Tristan asked, having realised she’d stopped dead. ‘I need to stay with the boys, but if you want to have a look around the shops I’ll go on ahead.’
Holding her breath, she looked out of the corner of her eye to see where her stepfather was, her whole body flooding with relief when she realised he had gone the other way. If he’d spotted Tristan, he’d have been certain to greet him and then there’d have been no chance of him failing to spot Holly. For a few seconds the relief continued to wash over her, before another emotion slammed into her chest, taking her breath away for a second time. Her parents were away on a month-long cruise, at least that’s what her mother had told her. It was why they’d had to reluctantly decline when she’d suggested they meet up closer to home this time, just over the border in Devon. She hadn’t planned to tell them about her visit to Cornwall, not wanting to get their hopes up, or for them to try and persuade her to visit Port Agnes to see Bex. She’d assumed they’d want that, but they hadn’t even wanted to see her. So much so, that they’d resorted to lying about being away. She’d been the black sheep of the family for sixteen years, but she’d always felt confident that her parents loved her unconditionally, no matter how much damage her actions mighthave caused. Now she felt like a pariah, and it was all she could do not to burst into tears. Instead, she gritted her teeth and turned to look at Tristan, forcing a smile she was certain must look every bit as strained as it felt.
‘Sorry, I just stopped because I realised if I don’t get the brownies now, the bakery might be shut. You go on ahead and I’ll catch you up.’
‘No problem.’ Tristan hesitated for a moment. ‘But are you sure you’re okay? You look a bit… I don’t know, out of sorts.’
‘I’m fine, just a bit of an ice cream headache. I’ll grab some paracetamol from the shop after I’ve got the brownies and meet you down on the beach.’
‘See you in a bit.’ He reached out and briefly touched her arm, before breaking into a run to catch up with the boys, and Holly rested her forehead against the shop window, the rush of breath she released steaming up the glass. She didn’t belong here and no one wanted her to come back, as much as it might still feel like home. When you set fire to your life as spectacularly as she had, it shouldn’t be a surprise to discover there are only ashes left. Holly just hadn’t expected to be able to taste them in her mouth.
8
Bex was beginning to feel as if she’d forgotten how to smile since her mother’s diagnosis. That was until she saw Rowan walking along the corridor towards where she was sitting waiting at the bistro table, outside the St Piran’s Hospital Shop. She’d already got her friend a pregnancy-friendly decaf tea and had decided to treat them both to a slice of cake. The expression on Rowan’s face made it clear that she was happy, reassuring Bex that the news from the scan had all been good, but it wasn’t the only thing that was making her smile. It was the sudden development of the undeniable pregnancy waddle that seemed to have put in an appearance since the last time she’d seen her friend, which Bex remembered only too well from her three pregnancies. This was Rowan’s third baby too, and there was no way she was going to be able to keep the news under wraps for much longer, no matter how loose her clothing was. It was obvious not just in the way she was walking, but the protective cradling of her bump with her hand, and every passing day would just make those things all the more apparent.
‘Thanks so much for coming over here to meet me.’ Rowan folded her into a hug. ‘We were so late going in, and we thought Nath was going to miss the train. I told him just to go, because there was no way I wanted Will to end up having to go on his own with Leo, but Nathan couldn’t bear the thought of missing the scan either. Thank God we made it in time. They’re booked into a hotel tonight, because their appointment with the consultant is at nine thirty tomorrow, but they’re supposed to be taking Leo on a Ghost Bus Tour tonight that he’s always wanted to do. He’ll be up way past his normal bed time, but they wanted to make the trip to London about more than just hospitals.’
Rowan let go of a long breath. She looked worn out and Bex suddenly wondered if it was fair to offload on her friend. Leo was Nathan’s nephew and he had Duchenne’s Muscular Dystrophy, a life-limiting condition with a prognosis that meant he might not survive into adulthood. Nathan had always been incredibly close to his brother Will’s family, supporting them however he could. So it was no surprise that he was going to London for Leo’s hospital appointment. The whole family had been living with the knowledge of Leo’s condition for years, somehow just getting on with things, while here she was falling apart at the seams in the wake of her mum’s diagnosis.
‘Of course Nathan wanted to be there for the scan. I take it the news was all good?’
‘Absolutely.’ A slow smile spread across Rowan’s face. ‘She’s perfect.’
‘Oh my God, you’re having a girl.’ It was Bex’s turn to hug her friend. ‘I’ll get to buy all the lovely girly outfits I never got the chance to buy for my boys.’
‘Hmm, maybe, but I get the feeling she’ll be a proper daddy’s girl, wearing dungarees and trotting around with a little toy toolkit, wanting to help out with his building work.’ Rowan sat down heavily in her seat, omitting a little sigh of relief as she took the weight off her feet.
‘I can picture that too and Nathan is going to love it. Although I’m pretty sure he’ll be happy to have his hair and make-up done by his daughter, and don a pair of fairy wings, if she does turn out to be a girly girl instead.’
‘He’s going to be the best dad ever and that just makes me look forward to doing it all over again all the more. Even if I do feel about 300 years old.’ As Rowan leant forward in her seat a more serious expression replaced the smile she’d been wearing. ‘Anyway, that’s all my news. I want to hear what’s going on with you. I’m assuming there’s still no news from Briony?’
‘Nothing and I’ve re-sent the email. Twice.’
‘Have you checked in your spam folder just in case her reply has ended up in there?’
