‘I have that effect on all the women. I still can’t get rid of Eve.’ Max shot a look in her direction, but if his comments made her sad or embarrassed, then she was doing a very good job of hiding it.
‘I haven’t seen Flora looking this happy since Duncan was around.’ Eve seemed to be choosing her words carefully, as if she might say something that would provoke a negative reaction from Max; like the fact that the dog’s previous owner had died. He’d witnessed her walking on eggshells around Max before and Felix suddenly felt almost certain that he’d made a mistake by backing off so that Eve could continue the pretence to Max’s parents that they were still a couple. That might have some benefits for Annie and Nigel, but it was costing Eve far toomuch. It didn’t matter whether Felix was a part of her life or not; what mattered was that Eve got to live her life to the full and make her own choices. She wouldn’t turn her back on Annie and Nigel, and he found it impossible to believe they’d turn their backs on her either. The prospect of Eve moving on didn’t need to stop them being part of one another’s lives. More than that she deserved the right to choose where her own life went next. He needed to get out of here before he poked his nose into something that wasn’t any of his concern, even if it felt like it was.
‘I think I’ll be okay to leave Flora with you guys for a couple of hours, Bev. What do you think?’ Felix turned back towards where the deputy manager was standing, behind the sofa Max was sitting on. The little dog was now resting on her back legs, her two front paws against Max’s chest as she licked the side of his face and he laughed again. It really did look as close to love at first sight as Felix had ever seen.
‘That would be fabulous, would about five o’clock suit you? I can get Max and Jamie to take her out on a walk and give her an early dinner. Just so we know what kind of interventions we might have to put in place to monitor things if she comes here full time.’
‘That works fine with me.’ Felix nodded.
‘I should probably leave you to get on with it, as well.’ Eve moved towards the sofa and ran her hand down the centre of Flora’s back. ‘The last thing Max will want is me hanging around now that he’s got Flora for company.’
‘Yeah, you can definitely go now.’ Max’s tone was dismissive, but then he blinked slowly, almost as if he needed a moment or two to process something else that had just occurred to him. Lifting Flora gently, he placed her on Jamie’s lap and stood up. He put his arms around Eve and hugged her, just briefly, before pulling away again. ‘Thanks for finding Flora.’
‘You know I’d do anything for you, Max.’ She planted a kiss on his cheek, laughing as he wiped it away and turned back towards the dog. It had been a brief moment of connection between them, before Max had gone back to focusing on his own wants and needs, and Felix couldn’t believe this could possibly be enough for her. Eve deserved someone who would put her first and would love her with the sort of passion that made everything else pale into insignificance. The trouble was, as Felix turned to follow her out of the room, he realised without any shadow of a doubt that he wanted that person to be him.
‘Eve!’ Felix was calling after her as she stalked across the grass, moving as quickly as possible without breaking into a run. She could have answered him, but it was far easier to pretend she couldn’t hear him. She’d fought to keep a sunny disposition in the bungalow, when a huge part of her had wanted to ask him why he was acting the way he was, as if nothing had happened between them. Although maybe Felix had been pretending to be this great guy who seemed to understand her situation in a way no one else could, even if she had no idea why. Had it just been so that he could get her to let her guard down for long enough to sleep with him? She couldn’t believe that was true, but perhaps that was because she didn’twantit to be true. She’d liked Felix, really liked him, maybe even more than that. It had certainly felt like it had the scope to become love; something she hadn’t even dared believe would be a possibility again. Now she just felt like an idiot and Felix was the last person she wanted to talk to.
‘Eve, wait.’ He put a hand on her shoulder as they reached the car park. She’d been nearly there, so close to getting back into her car that she could have slammed the door and driven away,still pretending not to see him. The peonies that took centre stage in the flowerbed outside the main house, which were swaying in the breeze, would have been the only thing waving goodbye.
‘I don’t want to talk to you.’
‘Yeah, I got that impression.’ Felix had the audacity to smile and she had to swallow the scream that was bubbling up inside her. She yanked her body away so violently that his hand fell off her shoulder.
‘Okay, you’ve clearly got the message, Felix. So how about you just go away?’
‘Because I think I might have been an idiot.’ He held her gaze and she felt something inside her shift. God, those eyes of his would be so easy to fall for again, but she wasn’t that stupid. What was the saying?Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.So instead she let him have it, past caring that she was supposed to act as though the way he’d treated her hadn’t bothered her, when in reality it had hurt like hell. She’d supressed her feelings so much over the last couple of years and she didn’t seem able to do it any more. Maybe she’d finally found her limit and it was good that she was ready to put some boundaries in place, but after the way Felix had treated her, she was ready to erect a twelve-foot high concrete wall between the two of them. Once she’d had her say, that was.
‘I just wish you’d had the balls to tell me that what happened between us wasn’t what you wanted after all. I don’t know if it just didn’t seem like such a good idea once we were back in our real lives, or if a short-term thing was always the plan, but it would have been nice if you’d had the decency to share that with me. Whatever the reason, you could have shown me some respect by being honest, instead of stepping into the shadows, like we’d never been more than vague acquaintances.’
‘Oh no, Eve, I’m so sorry if that’s what it looked like, but you’ve got it all wrong.’ He moved to touch her again and she stepped back, her eyes widening in fury.
‘Don’t you dare try and gaslight me into thinking I imagined all of that. You went from acting like I was the best thing to happen to you in years to almost ghosting me.’
‘I know and I handled it like a complete idiot.’ He held up his hands, shaking his head and she struggled to catch her breath; his straightforward admission of guilt the last thing she’d expected. ‘When I went to Merri’s funeral, her dad said something about their other daughter, Ashleigh, being the only thing that had got them through. I didn’t think that much about it at the time, but when Annie had her accident and I saw how much she and Nigel relied on you – how you were their version of Ashleigh, especially after the rift between Lily and her mum – I felt like I’d be taking that away from them. You really are the best thing that has happened to me in… I don’t know, maybe forever, but I didn’t think I could do that to them. I still felt so guilty about what had happened to Merri, and so grateful that Don and Deanna still had Ashleigh. I couldn’t be the cause of robbing Annie and Nigel of you, or of letting you risk losing them. I saw how much they meant to you after Annie’s accident and I couldn’t guarantee that what we had would be worth you putting that on the line for.’
‘Don’t you think that was my decision to make?’ Her voice was low and she waited until he looked at her again, knowing she’d be able to see in his eyes if this was all part of some big act. It still felt like there was something else he wasn’t telling her and she didn’t want any more secrets.
‘Of course it was your decision, but the truth is there was more to it than that. This wasn’t just about protecting you or Max’s family; I didn’t want to risk getting hurt again either. I would never have asked you to choose between them and me,but I knew there was a chance you might one day feel you had to.’ Felix looked up to the sky for a moment and then back down at Eve. ‘You saved the whole family after what happened. You’ve got so much capacity for doing the right thing that you even want to give the person who hurt Max the chance of forgiveness, if that makes things better in some way for Annie and Nigel. How could I ever ask you to stop being you and step back, even a little bit, a single moment beforeyoudecided that’s whatyouwanted? I was scared if I hung around waiting there was a chance you might never be ready, and I knew how badly that would hurt me, because of how much I already felt for you. So I convinced myself it was better for both of us if I was the one to walk away.’
‘And now?’ She needed to hear all of it before she told him how she felt.
‘I’ve missed you way too much to keep trying to take the moral high ground, and attempting to do the right thing, whatever that is. Whatever happens between us, you deserve to let your life begin again. So what I really wanted to tell you, more than anything else, is that you can’t continue to put that on hold, not even for Max and his family. Even if you still want to tell me to get lost, I needed to say that, because I’d regret it for the rest of my life if I thought I’d contributed in any way to holding you back from living yours. You deserve to be happy, Eve, more than anyone I’ve ever met.’
For a moment she didn’t say anything, but then she breathed out slowly and nodded. ‘That’s quite the speech.’
‘I want to pretend it’s all off the top of my head.’ He managed a half smile. ‘But I’ve been thinking about what I was going to say from the moment I called your phone, after you responded to the appeal about Flora.’
‘Even with that amount of time to prepare, it was still quite impressive.’ She could no longer hold back the smile that had been tugging at the corners of her mouth from about halfwaythrough his speech. ‘But tell me this, what part do you see yourself playing in this new life of mine?’
‘Preferably the biggest part possible, but I’ll be happy with whatever part you want me to play. I just want you to be able to be honest with Annie and Nigel, so that you have the freedom to choose.’
‘They already know.’ Eve laughed at the expression on his face. ‘I told Nigel first and then I spoke to Max, and the rest came out on the night of Annie’s birthday.’
‘Oh my God.’ Felix looked shell-shocked. ‘How did they take it?’
‘Max was pragmatic, as I knew he’d be and relieved, I think, that all expectations of what our relationship looks like now have gone.’ She let go of another long breath. ‘With Nigel and Annie there were a maelstrom of emotions, but they’re still my family and they always will be and that was the only thing I wanted to come from this.’
‘I’m so glad, Eve.’ He moved towards her again and this time she let him, until they were standing just inches apart.
