Rex grunts. ‘Nah. Failed my drug screening. Cunts fired me. Fuck ’em, I got another job startin’ soon, different mine, pays way better.’ He shrugs. ‘What we watchin’?’
I put on a Metallica concert. Rex starts bopping his skull in a wacked-out limp fish attempt at a headbang. Metallica chug out a newer thrash metal song called ‘Lux Æterna’ which I’ve been blasting in the car a lot lately. A tattooed, all-in-black James Hetfield struts around a stadium stage before a sea of bouncing devil-horn hands from the crowd. Goddamn. What I’d give to perform on a stage like that. To have that many adoring faces think I was hot shit.
While me and Rex are vibing to Metallica, my phone pings with a notification.
Xander Sullivan.
‘What now?’ I sigh, opening Insta and half-expecting another call-out video.
Instead, it’s a DM.
Hey babe, you said you were a muso … do you have any tracks released? I’m putting up a new post on Insta and wanted to soundtrack it with a Perth queer songwriter out of solidarity. Let me know! xx
‘Shit yeah,’ I say.
Despite everything he’s done, I’m elated. Xander has a fuckton of connected, influential followers: my music could be in front of more people than ever. This could be the big break I’ve been waiting for. Showbiz documentaries are full of stories like this – one chance encounter and a song that was flopping blows up the charts.
‘Dude, this is awesome,’ I say, telling Rex the situation.
Rex replies with a resonant, moist fart, before saying, ‘Isn’t this the shithead giving Curtis a hard time?’
‘Yeah,’ I admit.
‘Bro, no, don’t do it,’ Rex drawls. ‘You’d be a sellout. Is this what Metallica would do?’
‘Everyonedidcall Metallica sellouts when they made it big,’ I point out. ‘My songs are out there: Xander can use them whether I give permission or not. It’s not like I’m supporting his crusade against the Tool Shed. I’d be cutting my nose off to spite my face, right?’
Reyna comes back from the bathroom with no sign on her face she’s ever emoted. I tell her about Xander’s proposal.
Reyna’s not having a bar of it either. ‘As in the douche who’s trying to Miley Cyrus your bar?!’ she cries. ‘You can’t support him!’
‘I’m not supporting him,’ I argue. ‘Just letting him use my song. I mean, he can use it without my permission. What would you do? If an opportunity like this came up?’
Reyna glug-pours a fresh glass of rosé. ‘If this happened when Hectic Lettuce was starting out, I’d say yes – anything for exposure,’ she admits. ‘But now? No way in hell. I know exposure is fleeting and almost meaningless, but guilt for compromising your ethics is forever.’
Rex whistles. ‘Oof.’
I bristle. ‘Well, that’s the difference between us, Reyna. I’ve never had what you have. And I want it.’
I tap out a grateful reply to Xander, linking him to my Spotify and telling him ‘Roof’ is available as a song for use on Insta.
Xander love-hearts the message, and that’s when everything goes the way it was always destined to the moment he got involved.
It all comes crashing down a few hours later, when Reyna’s left and me and Rex are rotting on the sofas. I check my socials and see I was tagged in an Insta post a few hours ago. It’s a photo of Xander, standing in front of the Tool Shed with a rainbow flag cape behind him. The caption reads:
OPEN LETTER TO THE TOOL SHED BAR
As a member of Perth’s LGBTQIA+ community, I am writing this open letter to call for accountability from the Tool Shed.
This bar has been called out by multiple queer activists since opening. It has a policy of only allowing male-identifying patrons through its doors, which flies in the face of the inclusion myself and other activists have fought for. The venue is gratuitously sexualised, with reports of public sex acts (illegal!), porn on the screens and even a glory hole, which all reinforce harmful stereotypes that queer men are only obsessed with sex.
This is a letter I do not want to write. As a queer influencer I would NEVER attack a queer venue or a queer person, and I am not ‘cancelling’ anyone (cancel culture doesn’t exist!). Curtis Levesque and Ahmed Hassan have a chance to do the right thing by Perth’s queer community. Open your establishment to all of us, clean it up and make it a respectable venue for everyone. There is no G without the LBTQIA+.
I am today calling for a boycott of the Tool Shed. Please sign and share this open letter to show your solidarity with the boycott.
If the Tool Shed does not change its policies in response to this boycott, I will lodge a formal complaint with the anti-discrimination commissioner to get this bar shut down permanently. You reap what you sow.
Please sign this open letter – link in bio – and share with your contacts far and wide.
