“And you got the dress? I see you have something hanging in the bedroom. I’m sure it’s extravagant and very special, and I wouldn’t want anything less.” He smiled. He was so excited, it made me want to cry. “I won’t peek, don’t worry. But when did you get back? You should have had Agnes come and unpack your bags, they’re still sitting by the door.”
I nodded again. I swallowed hard. “The thing is, Archie, I loved it. I loved being on that stage again. I loved the applause, I need the applause.”
“Olive…” His smile dropped slightly. “We talked about this, remember?” He tried to laugh a little, but it came out just like breath, a puff of air.
“I just don’t think I can be happy without it.” I remained stoic, hard, and yet I couldn’t believe what I was hearing myself say. “I won’t be happy if I don’t perform, if I’m not a Ziegfeld girl, or if I’mnot on the stage, singing, dancing, entertaining. And the thing is, I know you don’t want a wife of yours to do that.”
“Olive,” he said, but I kept on, not letting him speak, not letting him talk me out of it.
“It would ruin your reputation and it would ruin the good name you built for your family, but I need to do this. I have to do it.”
“What are you saying? Don’t be silly.” He smiled, but I didn’t smile back. “We can talk about this, Olive. Don’t say something you’ll regret. Just think about what you’re doing here, just think before you say another word. Please.”
He took my hand, but I pulled it away.
“I don’t think I would make a good wife. I don’t cook, I can barely keep track of my things, let alone run a household.”
“I don’t care about any of that stuff, you know that. We’ll make it work,” Archie said.
I clenched my jaw. “I’m sorry, Archie.” I felt light-headed. It was disorienting, as if I were hearing someone else say these words, not me, but I forced myself to go on, coldly. “I’ve made a terrible mistake. I can’t marry you. I’m so very sorry.”
Archie stared at me, stunned, as if I’d punched the air out of him. I didn’t think he could speak, and yet strangely I could—these cold, callous words coming out of me. He sat down on the wooden chair next to the bench, staring out at the lake.
I watched him to see what he’d do next, to see what I’d do next, and then he stood up again.
“This is ridiculous, Olive. You can’t do this to me,” he said. He was angrier now. “You can’t call this off just days before the wedding. It’s all planned. Agnes has been preparing for days, the guides haveworked nonstop all summer to get this place exactly the way you wanted it. You!”
I stood there doing nothing. Not even reacting.
“Some guests are already on their way,” he said, and then the enormity of it all began to fall on him. “Our families, Olive! It will humiliate everyone involved. You can’t do this. I won’t allow it.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
He paced and then looked at me, softer now. “You’ve got cold feet, darling,” he said, as if this possibility had just occurred to him. “This happens to a lot of people, I’ve heard, days before the wedding.”
“It’s not cold feet. I know what it is.”
“Well, then, what the hell is it?” he said, louder this time. “Something’s happened, did something happen in Manhattan?”
“No,” I said. “Nothing happened in Manhattan, I just—it was a mistake. This was a mistake.”
He sat down again, then he dropped his head into his hands. “I don’t understand,” he said to himself. “I just don’t understand.”
I couldn’t watch. I walked back into the bedroom, picked up my bags and carried them out to the main lodge.
“I need the rest of my things picked up from my cabin, and I need to go to the Blue Mountain House immediately,” I said, my voice shaking, to whoever might hear. “Now!” I shouted.
People emerged from the hallway, other rooms, and began to scurry around. The carriage was brought up front, and my bags were packed in the back within moments. They must have wondered what on earth was going on, but from the look of me and the intensity in my voice, they seemed to know not to ask questions. My world began to spin, and I thought I might faint. In a matter of minutes,I had entirely changed the course of my life and I was in the midst of walking out on the only man I’d ever loved. I had no idea what I was going to do next.
Archie walked out of the cabin when I was seated in the back of the carriage. He looked devastated, in shock.
“You’re making a huge mistake, Olive,” he called out. “If you do this it’s over, there’s no turning back.” He walked up to the carriage window. “Don’t do this, Olive, you’re going to regret it.”
“I know,” I said in a whisper. Then I turned to face forward as the carriage began to pull away.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Before I boarded the train to head back to the city, I called my parents from Blue Mountain House. I felt sick with anxiety waiting to connect and was immediately relieved when Junior answered.
