She told herself not to let that ruin something beautiful. He had made love to her. They had consummated their marriage. He had never said that he wanted her to bear his children. That had never been part of the deal and she had no right to even think it.
‘Is your curiosity now satisfied?’ he said, pushing a damp lock back from her face and tucking it behind her ear.
‘Well, something was certainly satisfied,’ she said, causing him to smile, as she’d hoped. ‘But I am a very, very curious woman, so maybe I’ll need a bit more satisfying.’
‘I’m more than happy to oblige your curiosity whenever, wherever and in whatever way you want.’
Margaret sank back onto the bed in a state of bliss. That was what she would focus on. Not on the way she would never truly be his wife or the mother of his children, but the woman with whom he was making the best of things—and his best was simply wonderful.
Chapter Sixteen
Jacob watched Margaret as she slept, her head on his shoulder, her lovely body lying against him. After their repeated lovemaking he was exhausted and wished he could do the same, but too many thoughts were spinning around in his head.
He had no idea whether what they had just done was right or wrong and what the consequences would be of his actions. He had only known Margaret for a few weeks. Now he had not only made her his wife but he had taken her virginity. For a man who had always shunned responsibility, he now had to come to terms with the responsibility his desire for her had caused him to take on.
No matter what they’d agreed, they could not go back to being just friends now. When he’d made love to her he’d said he did not want to hurt her, and that had been the truth, but he hadn’t just meant physically. He hoped he would never cause her any emotional pain, but he knew what he was like.
The longest time he had ever stayed with one lover was six months, then he’d moved on to the next tempting beauty. Fortunately, all the women in his past had been just like him, but Margaret was not like those women. His past lovers had all been married women who wanted a bit of fun while their husbands entertained themselves with their mistresses, or carefree actresses and chorus girls who wanted to extend the excitement they’d felt on stage by partying with any man who took their fancy. Like him, such women easily moved on to their next lover, and neither doubted, right from the start, that it was always a short-term relationship.
He lightly stroked Margaret’s shoulder. And she was different in other ways as well. He’d never had a virgin in his bed, for so many reasons. Partly because he saw it as morally wrong, but mainly because, unless you were a complete cad—and while hewasa cad, he hoped he was not a complete one—such liaisons could never be casual.
So, what would he do now? He had just made love to his wife, and he certainly wanted to do it again, often. There was nothing wrong with that, was there? In fact, wasn’t it expected of him? And yet, deep down, he knew it to be wrong. He had known that when she had looked up at him with those beautiful hazel eyes and told him she wanted him to satisfy her curiosity. And yet he’d ignored his better judgement, all because he wanted her.
He ran his hand over her naked shoulder and along her beautiful full breast. He’d wanted her and had selfishly ignored what was best for her.
But should he judge himself so harshly? His eyes swept down her body, over her full tempting breasts, across her softly rounded stomach, to the mound of dark hair and down those long, slender legs. She was so breathtakingly beautiful—how could he resist her?
And he didn’t just mean her appearance. There was something about Margaret that was different from all the other women he’d had in his life. It wasn’t that she had been a virgin. He certainly wasn’t the type of man who saw deflowering a woman as some sort of conquest. But there was definitely something—something indefinable. Just as there was also something indefinable in the way she made him feel. Making love to her had been unlike anything he’d previously experienced with a lover, and again it had nothing to do with her being a virgin.
It was as if there had been a deep connection between them. Something so all-consuming and indefinable. When they made love he felt so close to her, as if they were no longer two people, but had somehow joined as one on a level that was greater than just the physical.
This was all so baffling and somewhat disturbing, and nothing like the uncomplicated fun he usually had in bed with a woman. His stroking hand moved from her shoulder to her exquisite breast, lying against his chest. He circled the pink nipple and watched it contract under his touch.
Making love to her might have caused some complications, but, by God, it had certainly been fun. He’d had so many women since he’d lost his virginity at the tender age of sixteen, he’d long since lost count, and never expected any to surprise him, but Margaret had.
It wasn’t due to any expertise she’d possessed. When she’d entered his bedchamber, she’d been a nervous virgin, unsure of what she was doing. Nor was it the way she had so quickly become comfortable with her body and the giving and receiving of physical pleasure. But whatever it was, it had left him wanting more—much, much more.
She opened her eyes and looked up at him. ‘Mmm, that feels very nice,’ she murmured as he continued to caress her tight bud.
She looked down at his arousal and sent him a cheeky grin. ‘And I see you’re rather enjoying it as well.’
With a growing boldness that never failed to surprise and excite him, she reached down, ran her hand along his shaft and lifted one leg over his thigh. ‘Perhaps we need to do something about that.’
‘No, you must be sore,’ he said, running a finger lightly over her cheek. They’d already made love several times and he was loath to cause her any pain.
‘A bit,’ she said. ‘But I don’t mind.’
‘I do,’ he said. ‘But don’t worry. There’s lots more we can do while we give your precious parts a much-needed rest.’
She smiled at him, a delightfully wicked smile that he’d seen several times during their lovemaking—a smile he had come to adore. ‘Oh, I like the sound of that. I want to know everything.’
‘Everything?’ he asked, sure she couldn’t mean it.
‘Everything,’ she said emphatically. ‘I’m sure a man such as yourself has a lot to teach me,’ she added and lifted herself up onto her elbows as if waiting for instructions.
He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her. ‘Well, you can keep doing what you just started,’ he said as he nuzzled her neck.
‘You mean like this?’ Once again, she took him in her hand.
