She held her hand up to stop his words. ‘You needed an engagement so Baron Winterborne would not continue with divorce proceedings. Tonight, he could not have looked less like a man who intended to divorce his wife. Your ploy has achieved its aim. All we need to do now is to find a way to end this pretence.’
‘No, we can’t do that.’ The words were out before Jacob could stop them. What was wrong with him? He should be relieved, not crestfallen. He should not feel as if something treasured was being ripped away from him. But he did not want this engagement to end, especially not like this.
Her eyes widened and she shook her head as if waiting for him to explain. But how did he explain when he didn’t know himself why he had made such an objection. Hadn’t he now got exactly what he’d wanted? Helena’s reputation would not be destroyed in the eyes of Society. Life had returned to normal. He could now get back to his old life. She had offered him a chance to escape. Shouldn’t he take it?
A thought occurred to him. ‘Putting paid to those divorce proceedings was only part of our agreement,’ he said quickly, before he could question the wisdom of what he was doing. ‘In exchange for your help, I was to save you from the horrors of the Season. If we end this arrangement now, you’ll be back on the market.’
A pained expression crossed her features and he knew she could see the truth in what he was saying.
‘And after a failed engagement, your mother will be even more desperate than ever to get you married off.’
That was a somewhat underhand tactic, but it achieved its aim. She closed her eyes tightly as if the thought of another Season was even more unbearable than the thought of spending more time with him.
He waited for her response as eagerly as a real suitor seeking encouragement from the woman he wished to court. Why he was reacting like this he could not say. All he was prepared to admit was that it was the right thing to do. They had made an agreement, and just because that agreement had already resulted in a reconciliation between his ex-lover and her husband, that did not mean he could weasel out of his obligations and abandon her to the strutting roosters and the torment of her embarrassing mother. Yes, that made more sense than any other possible explanation as to why he was acting so out of character.
‘Are you sure you wish to continue?’ she asked quietly.
‘Yes, I can think of no woman in the world I would rather have a fake engagement with than you.’
This resulted in another slight smile, and after all that frowning it was a glorious sight. Jacob’s gaze moved to her lips, before quickly flicking back up to her eyes.
What on earth was wrong with him? Wasn’t stopping her from looking at him in this manner the very reason he’d taken her to the Gaiety Theatre tonight? Wasn’t he trying to make her disapprove of him? So why was he now trying to make her smile? Why did he want her to think well of him? And worse than that, why did he want to spend time with a woman who meant nothing to him and would never mean anything to him?
This was all getting very confusing. It was so much easier when he associated with women like Helena Winterborne or with any of the stream of other lovers he’d had in his life. With them he never had to indulge in all this aberrant soul-searching, nor had he ever felt the need to question his motives or what it was he wanted. His motives and what he wanted were always very clear and as lacking in complexity as it was possible to get.
‘So, what do we do now?’ she asked. ‘You no longer need to parade me in public to give you an appearance of respectability.’
That was true, but wouldn’t being in public be a lot safer than spending time alone together?
‘I believe we should spend time together out in Society, just to keep your mother happy and make her think we are courting. Perhaps we can attend a ball or two together, or go to the theatre on occasion.’
Her arched eyebrows rose up her smooth forehead.
‘Respectable theatres,’ he added quickly.Ones my friends and lovers never frequent,he could have added, but he did not want to bring the conversation back to the source of her anger with him. ‘And we still haven’t seen those new impressions.’
She smiled at his deliberate mispronunciation. He did love that smile, the way her lips curved slightly at the corners, and a soft flush bloomed on her high cheekbones.
‘No, you wouldn’t want to miss out on those impressions, would you?’
Like a genuine courting couple, they continued to smile into each other’s eyes, while the flickering carriage lantern bathed her with a soft golden glow and made her eyes appear to dance.
‘Visits to the galleries would be wonderful, and I would like to attend the theatre again, but are you sure you want to accompany me to balls?’
‘I believe I owe it to you after all you’ve done for me. And who knows, maybe you’ll meet a man during the Season, one whom you’ll want to have a genuine courtship with,’ he added, trying to ignore his resentment towards that man.
And looking the way you do tonight, so achingly lovely, how could any man resist you?
‘It hasn’t happened so far, so I doubt it will happen this year either.’
‘And I believe that it is very likely to happen,’ he said softly.
‘Yes, well, being engaged to a duke does increase my attractiveness in men’s eyes,’ she said with a small laugh that sounded fake.
‘No, because you are a beautiful, enchanting woman and sooner or later some man is going to realise that.’ He knew he shouldn’t do it, but he couldn’t resist moving back a stray lock of hair and tucking it behind her ear, lightly stroking her soft skin as he did so.
Her lips parted as she gazed into his eyes, her chest rising and falling quickly as she gasped in quick breaths. He had made a mistake. He should have kept his thoughts to himself and he most certainly should not have touched her.
Despite the intimacy of their surroundings, they were not lovers. Hell, they were barely friends. They were simply two people who had come to an arrangement for their mutual benefit.
