And selfishly, I want more time with Briar.
The flash drive might have enough secrets on it to satisfy Nolan. If I check off all his boxes, he might allow me to spare Briar. I know he wants me to discard her after, or let her die in the raid, but I don’t think I can do that.
It’s much too late for me to walk down that path. Whether I like it or not, my humanity stirs around her. Like a beast being coaxed from a long hibernation.
Briar, why did you wake me?
Some might say I’m more dangerous when I’m willing to save someone out of emotions. I think about Dalton and Nyla and how horrendous I became after. Yes, one is willing to be much more vicious when it’s for someone they care about.
I park in the barn and clear the area with my silencer pistol up and ready before I give Briar the nod to let her know it’s safe.
She quickly unlocks the back door of the house, and we slip inside.
“Best to keep the lights off,” I mutter, grabbing her hand softly as she reaches for the switch.
Her eyes fill with horror. “Oh shit, yeah, good call. But how will we look through all this crap?” She motions to the hoard that Arnold built. I have no doubt that he intentionally filled it with clutter to hide the flash drive and possibly weapons.
I don’t release her hand as I guide her down the hall. “Let’s start upstairs, there’s a full moon tonight so we’ll have a little light. I’ll work on getting the windows blacked out so we can light some candles. That should be safe enough, but not the overheads.”
Briar nods, and we spend the next two hours sorting through a bunch of trash.
I found black garbage bags and was able to completely cover the windows in the entire house. We work in silence. I appreciate that about her—she needs time to her thoughts just like I do.
Her hand brushes over mine when we reach for the same pile of books. Our eyes meet, and neither of us move our hands away from the other.
“Are we wasting our time here?” she asks with an exasperated sigh.
I brush my thumb over her hand and smile as her cheeks flush. “No. We need to find it, even if it takes all night.”
“Did you let the guys know we’ll be out late?”
A devious grin pulls at the corners of my lips, because I already told them we won’t be coming back to the shop tonight at all. “Yeah, I did. They’re monitoring for us, so don’t worry, Squirt.”
She nods and sets her other hand on top of mine. I startle, which is fucking weird for me, but the warmth and softness of her hand makes my chest flutter.
“I never thanked you for saving me today.” Her voice is like a song I can never forget.
I find myself staring at her and have to blink and clear my throat to reset my expression. What the fuck is this girl doing to me?
“We’re even. You know, since you helped me out at the lake.” I rub the back of my head and force my eyes away. I hate intimate things. It makes me uncomfortable, but with Briar it’s in the best way. I want her to follow me into the dark. More than anything, it’s what I want.
She looks at me like she’s waiting for more, but I shift and start looking through the books. I know what she wants me to say. She wants to know why I keep pushing her away and saying terrible things to her. But how could she understand?I’m calling you a whore and being a dick because it’s in your best interestsounds like an asshole excuse—even if it’s true.
I set aside a book and lift another, flipping through the pages and freezing as I find it’s been hollowed out. I tilt it, and a USB drive falls into my hand.
Relief sets into my bones, and it feels like for the first time in months, my shoulders relax. I clutch the flash drive like it’s a lifeline. This might be what saves Briar. I won’t let anything bad happen to her if I can help it. Not a fucking chance.
I slip the USB into my pocket and continue searching as if I haven’t found it yet. It might be selfish, but I don’t want to go back. She’s all mine tonight, and I still have to convince her to help us on our mission to draw out the guy who shot Gale.
An awful, guilty feeling seeps into my marrow. I shake it off and ignore the morality of it.
This is for her. I’m using her to save her life, I reason, and it makes me feel a little better.
Briar stretches her arms over her head and yawns. “I guess we should head back. I’m so tired. We can keep looking tomorrow morning, I guess.” She seems bummed out about it.
I give her a sly grin. “Let’s just stay here. We’ll risk exposing the hideout if we keep going back and forth, especially at night when they’re most active.”
She doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, then nods in agreement. “Yeah, you’re right. Okay, fine.” She levels me with a suspicious glare. “But you’re sleeping on the couch.”
