To leave him alone and cold would burden my mind for the rest of my life. Not knowing whether he got back home safely or not would haunt me. I can’t leave—not when something so cruel and vicious is in a vulnerable state.
I shake myself from the trance he seems to always put me in and recover his wound with my tank top. The idea of trying to gethelp crosses my mind, but I’m so tired that I know I’ll drown if I go back out there. It’s a miracle I was able to get us to this beach.
With reservations, many,manyreservations, I press my chest against Roman’s back so we can share body heat and I can keep pressure on his wound.
It doesn’t take more than a minute of our warmth blooming between us before I pass out.
11
ROMAN
It’s cold.So cold that the chambers of my heart ache viscerally. I know it’s because I’m there again. Standing in the foot-deep snow as my friends are slain in the Under Trials.
There was once a time that I rebelled against returning here, in the darkest confines of my mind. I’d often try to change the horrors and stains of the past. But it never did any good. No one was spared. Not in my memories, not even in my foolish dreams.
Now I only watch as my comrades impale one another,betrayone another. Stab me. Hurt me. Try to kill me.
I never understood why the lessons I learned had to be so heinous. Why it was me who came out alive.
Why?
My eyes open, and I’m met with sand and the sound of water lapping at the shore. I’m not cold like I was in my dream. Or was it a memory? I can’t tell anymore.
Warmth surrounds me… Someone is holding me tightly.
I haven’t allowed someone to touch me like this for half a decade. The sensation is foreign and sends chills across my arms. I glance down, ready to throw the hand clasping me, but when I see her small, bruised, and cut-up hand, I pause.
My eyes widen, and my chest grows heavy.
Briar.
That’s right… We were in the water, and the last thing I recall is her not letting me go—her pulling me through the cold water even though she was so exhausted already.
After my cruelty toward her, why did she risk her life saving mine?
She brought us to a secluded beach. I take in our surroundings. Being stationed out in a small town with damn near nowhere to go and nothing to do means I know every square foot of this lake. The cliff shore. She must’ve swam most of the night to get to this one.
Slowly, I manage to move out from under her arm. She’s so tired that she doesn’t notice my absence, but I notice hers. The bleak chill that reaches into my back is arresting, and the pain from the gunshot wound flares.
I wince as I rub my shoulder gently. The pain is welcome, as is the scar it will become. This was a major fuckup on my part. I never should’ve allowed her to stay in the first place. I should’ve known that we’d be followed out here since Grahm was there when the guys grabbed her from the café. But things are too messy now. They want her dead or as a hostage, that much is clear.
Fuck, I didn’t think they’d actually shoot at us if I was carrying her. I brush my hand through my hair and let out a tight breath.
Whatever she knows is more important than I thought. They don’t want me to have it, which means Grahm and Sub-Rosa must be getting suspicious of us.We’re running out of time.
I check my belt and find my pistol and knife still attached. Thank fuck. At least I didn’t lose anything.
Before I get up to go fetch John, I catch myself watching her slow breaths. She’s only in her bra, and it’s been soaked through. Even if it wasn’t, the pads are so thin they barely offer anycoverage for her perfect breasts. Her nipples are pebbled from the brisk air, and suddenly I have the urge to suck on them.
I bury my teeth into my lower lip and force my eyes to her relaxed expression. Against my best judgment, I run my thumb over her lower lip and think about our kiss last night. It was a stupid thing to do, not like me in the slightest. But with her, I couldn’t stop myself. Seeing John kiss her pissed me off so much. I wanted to see what she tasted like.
A slight chuckle warms my tenured, bitter smile. She may have caught my eye and stirred something ancient inside me, but it will end there.
I won’t let her warm my frozen heart too.
12
BRIAR
