Bensen pushes off the wall and walks to stand beside Roman. “New branch?”
“A new Under base.” Nolan sounds perfectly diabolical.
Roman’s eyes widen with realization. “That’s why you wanted the gate here? For a new ?boot camp base?” Roman says scathingly and throws his hands in the air. “We lost two soldiersout here, for what?!” he shouts, and his voice is only amplified by the room.
Nolan keeps his expression flat. “That’s right. A new one where I know things will be done differently, under different conditions, and who better to lead it than you?”
Roman freezes. His arms are trembling, and his fists are curled tightly at his sides.
Gale and Taylor stand and join us. “Does Captain Bridger know about this?” Gale asks suspiciously.
“Who do you think gave the operation a go from the moment I started to arrange you boys being sent out here? Arnold was our scout, and he got too close—he wanted the secrets for himself so he could get out. But all he did was prolong the inevitable and get himself killed.” Nolan taps his cigar, and a big chunk of ash falls to the cement. “It wasn’t easy to convince my old friend to let us use his town. But we came to an agreement: Bane Falls will be our link between worlds. The soldiers here will be trained differently than that of the Under Trials, and you’ll work with the underworld rather than against them.”
Old friend? He’s talking about Callum’s boss. How do they know one another? My mind whirls with how deep Nolan is weaved into such sinister things in this world. Work with them? But…they do bad things.
I look at Roman and the squad—I guess they do bad things too.
“Why did you do this? Why didn’t you just retire, general? We lost so much…” Taylor asks with a broken voice.
Nolan’s eyes don’t give even an ounce of pity. “Because I didn’t lose a goddamn thing. I got what I wanted: I finally put the Dark Forces’ foot in the door of the underworld and put some of my worst regrets to rest.”
Roman’s jaw flexes with fury, and he steps toward Nolan. “Your legacy will only be your lies, general.”
Nolan laughs and hands Roman the dog tags. They each have a skull withDFengraved on them. “Your new rankings and clearances have been recorded on these. Captain Bridger will be sending men to help establish the new base in a month’s time.”
“Ournew rankings and clearances?” Bensen asks.
“That’s right. You can leave the perimeter around Bane Falls freely now,” Nolan explains with a wry smirk. “My legacy is all of you. Whether you like it or not. Dead or alive. I craftedallof you from the criminals you came to me as. Don’t forget what you all are. The heinous things you did to find yourselves down in the dark to begin with. I set up this world for you, and whether or not you take it is up to you. But I know you, Roman, and I know Briar and all of Icarus. You are all made to thrive in the dark.”
Roman’s eyes are wide, and he’s at a loss for words. Nolan pats Roman’s arm and looks at each of us before he turns and heads for the exit.
“One of their men is waiting at the burned-down farm when you’re ready.” Nolan stops at the door and looks back at all of us. “General Syxx, I wish you a long? and successful campaign.” He gives Roman a cruel grin and a slight nod.
Then he leaves, and we’re left standing in silence.
“What the fuck just happened?” Taylor says as he throws his hat on the ground.
“Give me a second, guys.” Roman threads his fingers through mine and pulls me back downstairs and locks the door to his room.
I sit on the edge of his bed and look up at him expectantly.
“Briar?… Are you okay?” he asks and kneels in front of me. I know what he’s asking me, and honestly I’m not so sure if I am or not.
I’m human, but everything about me and who I am is fake. How many times have they reset me? Can I get my memoriesback someday? My lips firm, and I stare at the ground. Do I even want them back? There’s no telling how that could affect me.
But when I look into Roman’s perfect hazel eyes, then to all the scratches and wounds over his face, the bandage over his forehead and neck, the scars he’s given himself and the ones he hasn’t, I realize something.
We never asked for these things—the pain, the hurt, the trauma—but we still found each other. We’re still here. Altered, but maybe that’s why we long for each other, why we seem to have an underlying bond.
I’m still me…whatever that really means in the grand scheme of things. Would I have known who I really was even if I didn’t have my memories manipulated? Would I know any more about who I am at my core than I already do now?
I know that I love Roman and that he loves me. I’m not sure much else really matters more than that.
Roman lost his humanity when he knew every bit of his haunted past.
I kept my humanity when mine was stolen away.
A wounded smile creeps across my lips, and I cup Roman’s face in my hands.
