I drain my glass and I’m feeling more confident as I go in search of my sister. I can hear the thwack of a cue against a billiard ball, followed by Calder’s curse.
“Sucker!” Meri cackles.
I pause by the door, lurking out of sight in the shadows.
“Fuck, where’s Rory when you need him?” Calder mumbles. “There’s only so many times I can let you win without it getting boring.”
“Who are you trying to fool?” Meri says.
As I creep silently into the room, my sister has her back to me. She’s wearing yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt that could be one of Ewan’s. Her thick coppery mane falls in tight curls over her shoulders so I can’t see her face, but I imagine she’s scowling as she points her cue at our brother. He dwarfs her. We all do, but Meri is no less intimidating.
“You want Rory here as a distraction so you can cheat,” she says. “That’s the only way you ever win.”
Calder doesn’t look in my direction, but he knows I’m there. “You could never win against Duke,” he says, taking a step back so he’s not within striking distance of that cue.
“Another good reason for him not to be here.”
My brother flicks his gaze to me. “Should I leave?”
As Meri spins to face me, she doesn’t give herself time to register shock. She goes straight to anger, then fury as she switches her hold on the cue stick and throws it like a javelin straight at my head. I don’t flinch. If anything, I’d anticipated the move and snatch the cue from midair.
“Yeah, I’ll leave,” says Calder. Not my referee then.
“If anyone’s leaving it’s me,” Meri hisses, but when I step away from the door to let my coward of a brother leave, I step back to block my twin’s exit.
“I came here to see you.”
“And I only came because you weren’t supposed to be here,” she replies, pointing a finger at me. “Let me through, Duke. You do not want to be locked in a room with me and a full set of billiard balls.”
I fold my arms across my chest and flick the door shut behind me with my foot. “I gave you space. You gave me space. It’s time to talk,” I say, my tone firm, if just a little unsteady. “It’s been over a year.”
“And what?” she demands, her eyes glistening. “Is there a time limitation for hating you for killing Ewan?”
“It was an accident.”
“An accidentyoucaused,” she says through gritted teeth.
“Yes, it was my fault,” I agree. I might not have been driving recklessly, but the split-second decision I made to swerve away from the fox was mine and it cost Ewan his life. “There’s nothing I can do or say to get Ewan back, but I don’t have to lose you too. And you don’t have to lose me. Let the loss end here. I need you,” I plead, choking on the confession. “More than ever, Meri. Ineedyou.”
She stares at me, her eyes shining, but it’s with pure rage. “Well, I don’t need you! Go away, Duke! Go away and stay away!”
“So you can wallow in your grief?” I ask because I’d done the exact same thing. “You don’t have to waste the rest of your life proving how much you loved Ewan, Meri. We know that. I know that because I loved him too. But there comes a point when you need to take a risk on life again. Maybe even love again.”
Meri’s hands curl into fists and when she launches herself at me, I don’t back away. “Fuck you!” she screams as she rains punches down on my arms and chest. I stand there and take it. “I shouldn’t be grieving Ewan at all! He didn’tdeserve to die. It should have been you. I wish it had been you!”
“And I wish all three of us had walked away!” I yell at her. “But shit happens!”
Her next strike glances off my chin and her scream is ear splitting.
“Fuck this!” I grab her waist and lift her off her feet. “I’m sick of being everyone’s punchbag!” I yell as she keeps hitting me. I carry her over to an overstuffed chair and drop her onto it with enough force to wind her. “Enough!”
Meri’s chest heaves, and now that we’ve stopped screaming at each other, I can hear voices in the foyer. Our fight has drawn attention. I could wait for someone to intervene, but where has patience ever got me?
“Ash investigated the accident,” I begin.
I was planning to put this off until all the other drama was settled, but I need the psycho I shared a womb with back in my life. There’s every chance the truth will make her hate me more, but it’s time to start taking risks again.
“He went through every inch of the wreckage,” I continue. “He helped figure out what caused it.”
