The man who?—
Another wave crashes through me and I'm gasping, my fingers working frantically, chasing every last pulse of pleasure until I'm shaking and my thighs are trembling and I can't breathe.
I collapse back against my expensive sheets.
Stare at my expensive ceiling.
Seven times.
I've masturbated seven times since I left him in that alley last night.
Seven incredible orgasms.
After six months of nothing. Six months of my body refusing to respond to anything—not fantasies, not porn, not the battery-powered vibrator I spent two hundred dollars on in a moment of desperate hope.
Nothing worked.
Until yesterday. Until he pressed his thigh between my legs in a dirty alley and called me a filthy slut and my entire body woke up screamingyes.
I should be horrified.
Iamhorrified.
But I'm also?—
God.
I press my wet fingers against my mouth. Taste myself.
The way he made me do. That first time. When he fingered me and then made me suck his fingers clean while he called me a good girl.
My pussy clenches.
I could go again. Right now. I could slip my hand back between my legs and come an eighth time just thinking about?—
No.
I force myself to sit up. Swing my legs over the side of the bed.
My thighs are sticky. The sheets are damp beneath me.
Evidence.
I stumble to the bathroom. Turn the shower on scalding hot.
While the water heats, I catch my reflection in the mirror.
Flushed. Hair a mess. Pupils blown wide.
I look like I've been thoroughly fucked.
Except I haven't been. I've just been lying in bed alone, getting myself off to memories of a man who gets turned on by torture.
After my shower,I find myself lingering in the apartment, wandering aimlessly from the bathroom to the kitchen and back again.
Usually, I can't wait to get the fuck out of here as soon as I'm dressed—I've developed this restless, caged feeling the moment I wake up. Like the walls are closing in.
I used to be afraid of the outside world. Used to love my solitary lifestyle, actually. The quiet. The isolation. The way I could disappear into my own head for days at a time without anyone noticing or caring.
