Who will call me degrading names and make me confess things I've never said out loud.
Who will use my own words against me.
Who will make me watch myself in mirrors as I submit to everything I've only ever written about.
Who will make me come until I pass out.
Forty-four thousand dollars.
I can pay off my eviction. All my bills, gone. Instant new life. Get a new apartment. Something bigger. With an office, or at least a bedroom. Have a safety net while I figure shit out. Maybe even hire a cover designer and publish one of my stories for real on Amazon instead of DarkDesires Forum.
All I have to do is click submit.
My cursor hovers over the button.
This is insane. You're insane. You're going to get trafficked or murdered or?—
The timer at the top of the screen shows seven minutes remaining.
Seven minutes to decide if I'm the kind of person who does this.
If I'm desperate enough.
Broken enough.
Brave enough.
You're none of those things. You're just scared, and alone, and out of options.
My finger hovers over the touchpad.
What would your mother say?
That question should stop me.
It doesn't.
Because my mother married a man she didn't love to avoid being alone college. Then did it again after my daddy died. She's got stepsons now. Stepsons she treats far better than she ever did me.
It doesn't even bother me though. Her life sounds like Hell. She performed a version of herself for thirty years until she forgot who she really was.
She disappeared into safety and called it good.
I refuse to disappear.
Even if it means doing something reckless. Even if it means selling myself to a stranger. Even if it means confronting every fear and fantasy I've spent years hiding from.
At least I'll beseen.
I click submit.
The screen goes black.
For one horrible second I think the browser has crashed. That I've lost everything. That the whole thing was a scam and I've just confessed my darkest secrets to the void for nothing.
Or worse—that it was real and I just lost three ours of work and won't be able to fill the form out again in the six minutes I have left.
Then a message appears.
