But the most pressing question is how many times canIdo this. Because right now, I feel like that number is zero.
“You’re OK,” Tyse says, for the fourth time.
“Are you sure?” I feel exhausted.
“Positive, darlin’. Absolutely certain. You’re doin’ great. And… I’m making a deal with Epsilon.”
I was just getting sleepy again, but this wakes me right back up. “What kind of deal?” I say these words through clenched teeth. Not because I’m mad. I’m not mad. I’mangry. At that stupid god. For what he’s taking from us. For what he’s doing to us. Because we’redying.
“It’s no big deal,” Tyse says. “Just some mRNA injections.”
“I don’t know what that is.” My voice sounds very weak now and I feel like I might start crying if I don’t make an effort not to.
“It’s just another way to augment. To change things inside me.”
“Changewhat things?” The pitch of my voice is too high, the panic building inside me.
“Clara,” he says, pushing some sweaty hair off my forehead, “I’ve been augmented with so much mRNA, it’s not even trackable at this point.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“Yeah, it is. Because I’ve got this. I promise you, I’ve got this. All I need from you, is rest. Ineedyou to recover.”
“So he can harvest me.”
“Nah. Well, that’s one way to think about it, I guess. But the way I see it is that, I need you to recover so I canfight.”
There’s a pause here. Not long. Maybe a second. Possibly two. But in this pause an infinite number of explanations bloom in my mind.
So I can fight.
The literal meaning is so he can fight in that cage thing in that mutant arena.
But there’s another way to interpret those words.
So he can fight for us.
I mean… I actually chuckle a little. Just a little, not really out loud. Because I feel that god’s eyes on us. He’ssopresent, it’s uncomfortable. But the reason I chuckle isn’t because any of this is funny.
It’s because he’sTyse fuckin’ Saarinen.
Failed augment, who wasn’t.
Rescuer of baby gods and Spark Maidens alike.
A man who walks across the veils between worlds and steals spark to feed me.
So he can take my spark to power himself.
It’s not a good vibe, but as far as hidden gifts go, this one is giving hero.
He’s going to save us. That’s what he’s saying. He wants me to recover because he made a deal with Epsilon and whatever this deal is, he feels like it’s worth it.
That your life is worth it,Clara? That he’s the hero of this story and therefor, you should just give him all your spark and let him save you?
These questions pop into my head unsolicited. They’re honest questions, I suppose. Does anyone really want to be the damsel in distress like in the fairy tales?
No. No one wants to be helpless.
