So that’s it, I guess. She’s turned them against me somehow. What a great day. I lost my aunt and all four of my friends.
I have nothing left but this job.
A job I don’t even want to do anymore.
I continue into my nook, flop down onto my bed, open the book and start to read.
But I can’t even see the words over the tears that spill out of my eyes and flow down my cheeks.
I stay curled up in bedwith the Godslayer all afternoon and evening. I don’t even get up for dinner. I just listen to the sounds of Little Sisters all through the dorm. They are busy, busy, busy sewing dresses because tomorrow is a prize day and someone gets to have to have dinner with the Extraction Master tomorrow night.
They all want to be Chosen for that. They all want to be Chosen for everything because they are stupid and don’t see the Choosing for what it is. A way to make them buy into the idea that being fed to the god in the tower is a fun, once-in-a-lifetime chance that can’t be passed up.
Even my former friends are buying into it because they are dutifully sewing their stupid dresses, hoping for the chance to sit across from Finn Scott tomorrow night at dinner. To have his full attention.
I wonder if he will stick his fingers between everyone’s legs before he’s done here?
At this point, nothing would surprise me.
None of my former friends came check on me when I didn’t show for dinner. Tonight is the first night the dining room on the very top of the Maiden Tower is open for us and we had planned to go together.
It’s like I’m not a part of them anymore.
They don’t even say goodnight to me and when the lights go out, I don’t get up and go to Finn.
I simply cry myself to sleep.
Because I’m all alone now.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
She doesn’t show.
I wait on the couch up on the top floor, just staring at that bookcase, until well past midnight. I even open the bookcase up, go all the way down the stairs, pass under the canal, go up the stairs, andalmostopen the door that I know leads to the Little Sister dorm and drag her sexy ass out of bed and bring her back here.
After a few agonizing minutes of deliberation, I actually do open that door, but I’m presented with so many different places she could be, I don’t even bother looking for her. Just retrace my steps and sit my ass back down on the couch and stare at the bookcase.
In fact, when I wake up in the morning, that stupid bookcase is the first thing I see.
“Did you sleep up here?”
I blink the sleep away and look up at Mitch, who is looking down at me like I’m insane.
“Are those yesterday’s clothes, Finn?”
Obviously, both of these questions are rhetorical, so I don’t bother answering.
“What’s going on?” His tone is terse now, so I have to say something.
“What do you mean?” Deflection probably isn’t the best choice because it just makes him angrier.
“What do I mean?” He’s staring at me again. Not like I’m insane, but like I’m… lying. “You’re acting weird. Is something going on that I don’t know about?”
“Mitch, I don’t know what you want from me. I tell you pretty much everything, but that doesn’t mean I owe you everything. And you wanna know why I’m acting weird? I mean, what kind of question is that? Have you already forgotten about Clara?” Mitch shrinks back from this accusation. “I know the rest of Tau City has.Thank god,they’re saying to themselves.Thank god that Maiden is gone, and the bells have stopped ringing, and I can go on with my life pretending that none of this is happening until the next time the bells ring.” I shoot him a sneer here. “I had higher expectations of you.”
He starts stuttering. “No, I didn’t forget about Clara. Of course not!”
“Then why are you acting like I should just get back to normal? Nothing’s going back to normal, Mitch. Nothing. Ever. She’s gone. My life is over.”
