The trashy romance I was reading between feedings last night is just a little bonus. Definitely not on the Black Witch Reading 101 syllabus.
Myer, who is my archivist guide, has an approved reading list for me. But my powers to actualize a story don’t stop when I leave the library building. I found the book about the sheikh in the little thrift store just down the mountain near the place Ryet and I sometimes have brunch on the weekends.
I’m sure Myer knows I’m reading on my own now, but so far, he hasn’t said anything.
I dress, blow Ryet a kiss so I don’t wake him, and then leave our little apartment.
Most of the Guild citizens start work much earlier than I do, so all the walking paths in our little mountain village are bustling with people doing whatever it is they do. Some wave to me, and I wave back. Some don’t even look me in the eye as they pass. Not because I’m a Black witch, but because they are immersed in their tasks for the day. So far it’s been a very friendly experience. Pleasant is probably the right word.
I don’t feel like one of them—I definitely still feel like an outsider—but it doesn’t bother me. In fact, I like it. I am something other than them and it’s OK. At least with me. What the collective citizens of the Guild think of me, I don’t really know. But I don’t really care, either.
I think that is the biggest change I’ve noticed in myself so far. I’m… confident. And… I dunno. Maybe… proud? Of what I am? I mean, there are so few of my kind. And I’m even more rare than most Black witches because I have the blood of vampires inside me. Not just any vampires, either. Paul and Josep, and Ryet. The American Vampires.
Not to mention the Darkness.
My hand absently goes to my belly when that word appears in my head. There is a Darkness inside me, growing, and maturing, and becoming something new. Ryet put it there, so there must be a Darkness inside him too.
When I first got here, one of the first things the Guild doctors did was give me a physical. They said I wasn’t pregnant and there were no signs that I could feel, so I let myself believe them.
It’s not true. I feel this pregnancy deep inside.
But I don’t want to think about that night when the four of us were all tangled up in the cabin bedroom, drinking each other and passing the Darkness between us through blood. Not because it’s traumatizing. It’s not. Ryet took me away from the actual act and we spent it flirting in a library so I don’t even know what happened.
But I’m a good visualizer and even though in my head, at least, I understand that it was a horror show,emotionallyit’s actually erotic. And when I think about it, an almost overwhelming desire for sex takes over.
Not just for Ryet, either. But for Paul and Josep too.
I want to do it again.
That’s why I don’t think about it.
When I enter the levelone reading room in the Guild library, Myer is sitting on a golden velvet-tufted couch that faces the door. In front of him is a wooden table with a massive tome of a book in the middle.
My heart skips when I see this book because this is notGo, Dog. Go!It’s not a Dick and Jane reader, it’s not Dr. Seuss, or the Baby-Sitters Club—which is what I was ‘reading’ yesterday.
This is a magic book. I can tell just by glancing at the ornate leather cover.
And it’sold.
“Good morning, Syrsee.”
“Good morning, Myer.” But I don’t look at him. I can’t seem to take my eyes off this book.
“Have a seat. We’ve got a lot to discuss today.”
I slip around the couch in front of me and sit down. The book on the table is facing my direction, not toward Myer, who is on the other side of the table.
I drop my bag to the floor, then finally meet Myer’s gaze. “Today?” I ask. “I get to read this one today?”
He’s just about to answer when someone knocks at the door.
“What is it?” Myer’s tone is irritated, gruff, and unfamiliar. So far, he’s been very friendly with me. We did know each other back in school, after all. He kissed me once. But almost immediately, my guard at the school interrupted us.
But his response to the knock on the door is anything but friendly.
My thoughts pause here for a moment because everything about the Guild campus feels… oh, I don’t know. Precarious, I guess. And I’m always on the verge of thinking this happily-ever-after for now is about to vanish. So any small discrepancy makes me nervous.
I don’t want to go back out into the real world. I want to stay here in this place where I don’t really belong, but am tolerated nonetheless. Because I don’t really belong anywhere and the past several months have been a bit of a horror show for me.
