12 - Ryet
We’ll meet again one day.
Syrsee’s fever has not yet brokenand it’s been nearly a week. I did have to leave her alone for about an hour several days back because I ran out of bacon. But other than that, I’ve been by her side this whole time, giving her small amounts of my blood to bring her fever down.
Meanwhile, as I’ve been doing this, I’ve also been eating real food non-stop and taking regular trips down to the basement tunnel to cover myself in dirt.
What the actual fuck is happening to us?
If I could leave Syrsee alone I’d be in town right now trying to find that fucking Guild Lounge. I’d turn myself in to them just to get answers.
I’m almost to the point of putting her in the truck and carrying her into that general store with me because I don’t know how long I can go on like this. When will she wake up? What is happening to her? What’s happening to me?
Paul, where the fuck are you when I need you?
Oh, I’ve been having regular conversations with him too. Not real him, of course. Some kind of hallucination, I think. There’s no purple to indicate I’m in a dreamwalk, but I know it’s not real because he looks blurry and smudgy. Like he’s been in the dirt too.
He’s also annoying in that smarmy way I hate. The ultimate smooth talker, always demanding that I come find him so he can illuminate me with the answers to all my questions.
And, actually, I probably would. More than likely, if Syrsee wasn’t so sick and I wasn’t afraid to leave her alone, I’d be back in the truck driving to Montana to go look for him. Because I don’t understand what is happening and it’s entirely possible that I’m fucking up really critical things that will affect our futures.
Also, I feel guilty about Syrsee. Because the last conversation we had was a fight over me having to feed her. And I just can’t take the irony of it. She wasjustpissed at me because she wasmyfood and less than a day later, our roles were reversed. And we were having the same fight, but in reverse.
What the fuck is happening?
And, oh, yeah, the wings? Leaving again to go shopping in town for more bacon is a fantasy because the fucking wings are growing like… well, like nothing I’ve ever seen in nature. A weed, I guess. My wings are like weeds. Getting bigger, and thicker, and heavier by the hour. There aren’t any feathers yet—and it’snota good look. It’s like wearing a skeleton on my back. At least fucking Paul had bat wings. My wings make me feel like I’m carrying around something that has died and rotted away.
And don’t even get me started on the dirt. I crave bacon and dirt.
This is my life. Frying bacon and eating it by the pound. Bleeding myself out to keep Syrsee alive—or… something. Andlying in the hole I dug under the house so I can cover myself with dirt.
It’s been eight and a half days and I feel like I’m going crazy.
No. I feel like Syrsee when she stood out on the side of the highway in Arizona, looking up at that horse and rider sign, yelling at me because I had been sick for ten days and she had been taking care of me that whole time, all by herself, and she had reached her limit.
I pause my mental rant here and think about this.
Ten days.
Maybe she’s on her own ten-day transformation? Maybe this will break in another day and a half?
A little bit of hope swells up inside me.
But what if it doesn’t? What if she never wakes up again?
It could happen.
The phone in the kitchen rings, shocking me back into the present. It’s probably Echo again. And even though I’m not in the mood to talk to her, or hear her complaints about how all the halfbreeds are starving, I get up and answer it anyway.
“Now what, Echo?” And all my irritation, and annoyance, and resentment comes out in these three words.
“Um.” There’s a pause. Then—“Is this… Ryet?”
“Who’s this?” It’s definitely not Echo and my aggravation is building.
“Zusi. I know Syrsee is there and I know she’s mad at me, but please…pleaselet me talk to her.”
“Where are you?” Now I’m beyond annoyed, I’m pissed. Because she’s got this phone number and she’s bothering me when I have more pressing matters to concern myself with.
