“A sexy, masked stranger,” she supplies, and I fix her with a glare.
“Not helping.”
She holds up her hands, laughing. “Jules, it’s okay to be attracted to someone. It won’t kill you to move on.”
The churning in my stomach and the tightening in my chest says otherwise. A random, reckless kiss with a masked stranger that I’ll never see again is a hell of a lot different from entering a relationship with someone. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to put myself or Tinsley in that situation again.
“Ooh,” she goes on when I don’t say anything. “I could set you up with one of Rory’s brothers. Tinsley is sleeping over at Everett’s, and you’re smoking hot in that dress. Maybe one day we could actually be related.”
“No chance, Quinnie,” I say, fixing a smile on my face as I grab her hands and squeeze them. “Now, it’s your wedding day. Let’s shelve this topic and focus on how you’re the most stunning bride I’ve ever laid eyes on. Rory is the luckiest man on the planet.”
Her expression softens. “He sure is.”
I lean in and kiss her cheek. “I’m so happy for you. He’s one of the good ones.”
As if our words summoned him, her husband appears in the doorway of the bridal suite, looking mouthwatering in his black suit.
“Ready for speeches, babe?” he asks.
She glances at me, and I nod, giving her a reassuring smile. I’m fine. I’m going to be fine. Fine, fine, fine.
If I keep repeating it, it’s bound to become the truth, isn’t it?
If I keep telling myself, I’m not lonely.
If I keep telling myself, I’m good with focusing on my daughter and making sure she’s happy and safe. She’s my number one priority now, and she always will be.
At least until she’s twenty-five and wants to move out and leave me.
Fighting the urge to call Everett to check on Tinsley following her anaphylaxis scare last week, I remind myself that she’s safe with her brother and follow my best friend and her husband out to the reception, going through the motions for the rest of the night. Speeches, cutting of the cake, the bridal waltz, and the father-daughter dance—I somehow hold it together for that one. Okay, maybe I shed a few tears, but that’s normal at weddings.
I try not to remember my wedding day and my overwhelming grief when that tradition was skipped because I didn’t have a father or even a father-figure to dance with. Edward walked me down the aisle, and at the time I’d thought it sweet that he was supporting me through one of the toughest parts of the day. In hindsight, Isee it as a way of making sure I went through with the wedding.
Swallowing my bitterness towards my ex-husband, I laugh and dance with my friends and try to enjoy myself. It’s working, too. Until I need a bathroom break.
I turn to make my way across the crowded dancefloor, and bump into the hard body of one of Quinn’s new brothers-in-law.
“Whoa there,” he says with a laugh, putting his hands on my waist to steady me.
My body doesn’t react to his hands on me the same way it did two weeks ago with the masked stranger, although my traitorous mind sends me straight back there. I step out of Adrian’s grasp, mutter an indistinguishable apology, and rush off the dancefloor, my cheeks blazing.
By the time I reach the bathroom in the bridal suite, I’m breathing heavily, and my heart is racing. How can one kiss with a mysterious masked man have such a hold over my emotions like this? Why can’t I stop thinking about how his touch burned my skin, yet made me feel safe at the same time? When will it stop? I can’t keep torturing myself like this.
He’s a fantasy, and that’s all he’ll ever be.
I don’t get to have a masked knight sweep me off my feet. I don’t want that.
Tinsley and I are only just finding our feet after what I survived, and I don’t need a man coming in and blowing everything up.
What I need is to forget that kiss ever happened and focus on building my new life. One that revolves around meand Tinsley moving on from our past and forging a happy future. No men allowed.
No matter how lonely I am.
Stop it,I mentally chastise myself.You have Tinsley. She’s more than enough.
I quickly pee, wash up, and head back to the dancefloor just as the MC orders all the single ladies to gather for the bouquet toss. I’m contemplating rushing back to the bridal suite to hide when Ally spots me and drags me into the middle of the fray, despite me trying to dig in my heels.
All around me, the ladies elbow one another, jostling for prime position, while I shrink in on myself. They’re welcome to catch the bouquet. I don’t want it.
