“No. No, no, no. Clio, I’ve somehow escalated it. Why are my fingers like this?”
She makes this strangled wheezing sound that suggests she may not survive the call. “Oh my God, I just saw what you sent,” she gasps. “You didn’t!”
“I did. I absolutely did. I’ve sent produce and moisture to a man I barely know.”
That finishes her. She is laughing loudly, and I can hear her slapping a table or a pillow or possibly the floor.
My phone buzzes in my hand. A DM. From Luca.
My whole body tenses like I’m about to open a threat from a crime syndicate instead of a message from an infuriatingly hot man.
I tap it.
Two eggplants and a splash. Bold.
My face goes so hot I could probably cook with it. I type back immediately.Accident. Please delete all of that.
His reply comes almost at once.Absolutely not.Then another.Screenshotted for legal purposes.And then a third.Ace and North say thank you for their gift.
I make a sound I’ve never made before in my life and never want to make again. It’s a half-deranged noise.
“He screenshotted it,” I tell Clio, who is somehow still laughing. “He’s sent it to Ace and North. As evidence. As if this is a court case and I’m losing custody of my own dignity.”
“Oh, this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” she says, still breathless.
“Gah, kill me now.” I glare at nothing and type back.I did not proposition you. I was trying to delete it.
He makes me wait just long enough to annoy me before replying.The first one, maybe. The second one felt committed. The splash was art.
I put my head in my hand.
Clio hears the silence and pounces. “What did he say?”
“He said the splash was art.”
She starts laughing all over again.
“I need to leave the country,” I mutter. “Actually, no, I need to leave the planet.”
“No, no, stay exactly where you are. This is incredible.”
Against my better judgment, I scroll to the comments on his post, and immediately regret being literate.
One person has posted about forty fire emojis in a row. Another has written, in all caps,LUCA WHO IS SHE AND WHYIS SHE RIGHT. A third just says,the splash is what took me out. And one especially deranged woman has commented,bro found his wife.
I stare at the screen, thinking that maybe if I focus hard enough, it’ll undo the last thirty seconds.
Another message comes through.For the record, I’m flattered.
My stomach flips in the most deeply irritating way. I type back before I can think too hard about it.By the eggplants or the aquatic theme?
Your enthusiasm.
I need the earth to crack open and swallow me.
“What did he say?” Clio’s voice drops, suddenly suspicious.
“He’s being funny.”
