“Gap year, like Maddy. I’m not sure what I want to do.”
A couple people are walking by while I say it, and one of them does a double take. Luke. Our eyes catch, and I look away, turning back to Maddy, who launches into a list of fairs and events that she wants to cook for or go to. I’m trying to listen, but the group Luke is with has settled at the fire nearest ours and keeps turning up the music, so it’s hard to focus on anything else.
“Whoarethose guys?” I complain, trying to sound casual. Maddy looks over at the group.
“The baseball team. They killed it this year. Made it to state and actually won. They’re, like, the new football stars.” Before I can control it, I feel a quick twinge of pride.
“Northport had football stars?”
“Ouch, well played.” Maddy stands up and stretches. “I’ve gotta get going. I’m opening the diner tomorrow. We’re still on for the beach in the afternoon, right?”
“Definitely.”
“Great. I’ll bring the food!”
“Something edible?” I tease. Maddy’s well aware her concoctions don’t always work out.
“Bring snacks if you’re worried, but not too many, because it’ll hurt my feelings.”
“Heard, chef!”
After Maddy leaves, I excuse myself for a walk down to the water. I need a break from hearing about everyone’s big plansfor the future. The ocean at Thirds is usually calm, and now’s no exception. The waves are small and quiet against the shoreline. I drop my shoes where it’s still dry and carefully make my way closer to the water. The moon is bright and full tonight, lighting my way. The water is ice-cold, but after a minute or two, it feels good. I look around for interesting rocks and pick up a few smooth, flat ones. Another one catches my eye, cracked and heart-shaped. I bend down to get it. When I stand up, I see Luke making his way toward me, picking up rocks of his own. My pulse jumps, anxious, happy to see him and annoyed all at once. I slip the heart-shaped rock into the pocket of my jacket and turn away from him, watching out of the corner of my eye as he approaches. I can just make out the tan line that starts halfway up his calf. His feet practically glow. Any other summer, I would’ve teased him mercilessly about it. But it’s not—we’renot—like that anymore. I palm one of the flat rocks and then pull my shoulder back and flick the rock out over the water. It skips three times before sinking out of view.
“Not bad,” Luke says.
I force a small smile and turn away to look for more rocks. I send two more out, neither making it very far, before he sends one of his own, which skips a dozen times into the darkness and, for all we know, keeps going for miles until it pings against the side of a boat. It’s annoying how cool it is. I want to talk. It’s like a constant itch in my chest, the natural reaction to being near him, but I don’t even know where to start that won’t put me right back where I was before. Finally he says something before I can cut him off again.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back this summer?”
A few answers tumble through my head.Because I didn’t want to talk to you at all. Because you’d find out anyway. Because I thought you liked me and I’m still embarrassed and hurt that you don’t.
I shrug. “I’ve been busy.”
“Sure.” He sounds a little mad, and that just puts me more on the defensive.
“I can be busy.”
“Yeah, we’re all busy, Sera. Whatever…I just thought…” His voice trails off. Is he upset withme? The rowdy crowd behind us starts calling his name, and he turns back, waves like he’s telling them to give him a second. A girl’s voice I don’t recognize rises above the rest, and I swear he blushes. I think about Maddy’s comment, that Luke’s never been serious with girls, and how much that clashes with what I know of him. Or knew. There’s almost no sign of the nerd I spent half the summer at art camp with every year. Who loved to watch weird movies and dig through the paperback science fiction section at the bookstore and escape the real world with me. Who would always answer my distress calls when I needed to get away from Abbi. Who I shared my biggest fears with: lobsters biting my toes, our hearts failing us again. And my biggest hopes too: that I could paint something so beautiful that people would talk about it after I was dead, and that I’d get to travel somewhere far away, where the world looks so different it could be another planet.
“You’ve changed a lot,” I say as I turn to head back to the beach, hoping he takes that as the answer to his question. He turns back with me, catching my gaze with his eyes and holding me there as we walk.
“A lot has changed,” he replies tensely.
I’m about to ask him what the hell that’s supposed to mean when a volleyball comes flying our way. Out of instinct I lean down and bump it in the direction it came from.
“Sorry, my bad.” A guy I sort of recognize comes running to catch it. Luke tenses as he approaches. “Wait, Sera Watkins?”
I blush, embarrassed that I can’t remember him but pleased to be remembered. He’s cute, even if he’s a little tidier in looks than I’m normally drawn to. He steps closer, holding the ball against his hip. He’s tall, and his blue eyes sparkle a little in the dark. I avoid the urge to glance at Luke and share one of ourlooks like the rich kids are herelooks.
“Yep,” I say, a little more confidently than I feel, trying to channel any of that shared DNA I have with my sister. “The one and only.”
“Had to be with a pass like that.” He grins. “I’m Jackson.”
“Sera,” I say. “But you already knew that…”
Jackson laughs. “Yeah, you played in a game against my school, Boston Latin. It’s been a couple years, but you don’t forget plays like that.”
“Thanks,” I say, feeling a sheepish smile on my lips. “That was a fun game.” In my periphery, I see Luke drift away, back to the bonfire. He slides an arm around the girl who called after him. But I can still feel him looking at me.Let him. I focus on Jackson. “Do you stay in Northport?”
