“She had a heart transplant as a baby, but she’s been fine, healthy,” I sputtered out. The EMTs arrived quickly, but it felt like the longest few minutes of my life, getting her down the ladder once she came to.
“Luke, I’m sorry,” Sera whispers now as we careen down the highway.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” I promise, smoothing her hair out of her eyes. She shakes her head, and the simple motion sends all the alarms connected to her screeching. “Just rest.” My voice wobbles. “We’ll be there soon,” I say, even though I have no idea if that’s true.
Thankfully we’re there a few minutes later. The staff is waiting for us, and they whisk Sera away. A nurse comes forward and stops me from following.
“Let’s let them look at your friend, okay?” She nods to a small waiting room. “You can wait here.”
I’m about to sit down when the Watkinses rush through the front door.
“Luke!” Abbi’s voice is sharp, panicked. “Where is she?”
I point uselessly at the nurse, who steps forward and takes all three of them down the hall in the direction Sera went. At the last second, I follow. We’re taken upstairs to the cardiac unit, my heart clanging in my chest the whole way. The last time I was in a hospital was right after my parents broke up. I hurt my knee during practice. The surgery was quick, the PT torture, but the whole time in the hospital I was itchy, anxious to get out, like my body remembered that time of almost death that Sera and I had lived through together as babies and wanted out.
The nurse puts us in another, smaller waiting room and strides away to get info on where Sera is.
Abbi paces, her arms swinging back and forth.
“Abigail, sweetie.” Mrs.Watkins reaches for her, but Abbi shrugs her off, meeting my eyes briefly before looking away again. I know she thinks it’s my fault, whatever’s happening, and I wish I could say it isn’t, but I have a feeling it kind of is.
The nurse comes back. “This way.” She turns, and we all follow again, stepping quickly past room after dimly lit room, each with a patient visible through the windows. It doesn’t escape me that they’re all so much older than us.
At the door to Sera’s room, her dad turns and asks me to wait out in the hall. Abbi pushes in first, followed by Sera’s parents. Her mom gives my elbow a quick squeeze and then I’m alone. The air is cold and constantly moving. I shiver and hold my arms to stop from shaking.
A doctor goes in, comes out with the nurse, then another nurse goes in with a big machine on wheels. I stand there, frozen in place. Finally there’s a moment where the window into her room is clear and I can see her sitting up. She catches my eye and smiles. My heart soars in relief.She’s okay,I tell myself. I push off the wall to go in just as Abbi opens the door.
“Not now, Luke,” she says, her hand on my shoulder, guiding me back across the hall again. I look through the door at Sera, but her dad is blocking my view.
“What’s wrong? Is she okay? She seemed fine. We just climbed a ladder to the top of Frappie’s, and she was dizzy and…”
Abbi looks down at her shoes, then up at me. Her eyes are alittle red, tired. I realize that whatever’s going on, it isn’t a complete surprise to her.
“Is Sera sick? Is it her heart?”
Abbi nods. “Two years ago, things were…not good,” she says. “But she had a procedure last fall, and she’s on medication now that’s been working…”
I look back through the window and Sera’s looking for me. Our eyes meet, and I can tell she knows I know now. Her eyes flick quickly to Abbi, but then back to me with so much sorrow. She mouths a quickI’m sorrybefore turning her head away.
The floor is still shifting, and I can’t stay up anymore. I lean against the wall and slide down it, surprised when Abbi sits quietly next to me.
“Twosummersago?” I ask, trying to make it make sense.
“Yeah,” she admits. “She passed out at her volleyball tournament. That’s why we left a couple days early.”
I drop my head onto my knees. I feel nauseous. That’s why she didn’t meet me that night on the beach. I feel like shit. I didn’t know because I was too wrapped up in my own crises that summer—my family falling apart in front of me, my own feelings of rejection—to realize what was wrong.
“She went to find you that night…” Abbi says.
I feel my brows furrow, confused. Abbi raises hers at me, and it clicks into place. The party in Dennis. My stomach sinks even deeper.
“How much time does she…?” I can’t finish the sentence.
“She’s supposed to have a few years before she needs a transplant. She’s on the donor list.” Abbi sits up, wipes her dryeyes, determination on her face. “Though she’s in tier four or five at the moment. She’s been stable. But eventually she will need a new heart.”
“I’d give her mine.” I don’t mean to say it out loud, but it’s the truth.
Abbi drops her head on my shoulder for a quick moment. “I know.” She leans away and stands up, smooths out her wrinkled pajama set. “You should go home, Luke. Sera needs to rest. And if there’s something going on between you two…something more than friends, please think about whether pursuing that is really what you want, okay? Because I can’t let you break her heart again.”
