“Yeah, but, Izzy, I—”
She puts her hand up. “It’s fine, Luke. I just—I need some space.”
On the drive home, I sift back through all the conversations I’ve had with Sera since she came back this summer. I’m looking for evidence of any kind to tell me I should let that tiny bit of hope that sprouted up the minute I saw her walk into Lorell’s grow at all, or if I’m still just the world’s biggest idiot.
It’s still light out when I get home. My brothers are at a sleepover, and Mom’s in the kitchen, making tea, looking tired and surprised to see me. I hope she wasn’t looking forward to a night alone. But I also hope she’s got something for me to do to feel useful and keep my mind from wandering next door.
Chapter Sixteen
Sera
Today’s the annual blood drive over at Northport Hospital that our family and the Tisdales always help organize. As usual, we’re running late. I throw on my volunteer T-shirt and a pair of shorts, then quickly brush my hair and put it up into a ponytail.
“Do you have all the snacks in the car?” Mom shouts up the stairs as I dig my phone out from under the blankets I kicked off the bed last night.
“Yes!” I reply, taking my charger with me. My phone always dies halfway through the blood drive, and this year I’m going to be prepared. I head down to the kitchen and beeline for the pantry to make sure I really did put all the snacks in the car earlier. I find two boxes of apple juice I’d forgotten. Maddy’s bringing cookies before her shift, and Dockside sends pizzas, but we bought everything else with donations from the year before.
I tie my sneakers quickly and run out to Abbi’s car.
“Do we have time for coffee?” she asks, yawning. She turns on some music—a rock band I’ve never heard before.
“I don’t think so,” I say, buckling and pulling my phone out to fiddle with the response I’ve been trying to send Luke since Thursday night. He texted me asking to meet up and talk after our boat day ended abruptly, and I haven’t responded yet. I should’ve replied yes right away. Waiting has only made it worse. I still don’t know what exactly to say when we do talk.Thanks for opening up to me, I know it was my turn to explain why I fell off the face of the earth, but it’s so embarrassing to admit that I was falling for you and that I was crushed to find you making out with a girl youstillmake out with but say you’re not dating? Oh, also I was in heart failure, but I’m fine now.Too wordy. I try not to think about it. Instead, I send Iris a picture of my first finished application piece. I’m really thrilled with it. The watercolors make the image of my eight-year-old face a little ethereal. She looks invincible. I set it as my lock screen, a good reminder for what today is about.
“I’m stopping at Dunkin’,” Abbi says. “There’s one right by the hospital, right?”
“Sure, but Mom organized coffee and breakfast for the volunteers.” I turn the music down; it’s giving me a headache.
“We’ll be there on time…ish…don’t worry.” Abbi yawns again and turns the music back up. I shake my head. We won’t, but that’s fine. There’s less of a chance of having an uncomfortable encounter with Luke if things are already underway when we arrive.
The blood drive is in a big parking lot next to the hospital. All the volunteers, medical staff and regular people like us,have finished setup by the time Abbi and I pull in at just past eight.
We off-load all the snacks into the tent where people are monitored after they donate. Then I head to the check-in table, where I’m scheduled from eight thirty until noon. Paula is there, but I haven’t seen Luke, thank god. I wonder if I can avoid him all day. His name was on the blood draw tent schedule for the morning, so he’ll be helping the nurses distribute snacks and juice boxes to the people giving blood. We switch shifts in the afternoon. Simply two ships passing in the night, or the day, whatever. I unbox the flyers on donating blood and find the paperwork for anyone who wants to register as an organ or marrow donor. Paula and Mom are going to be helping with swab kits for those folks, while I’m the face of convincing them to do it.
I play with myEBEbracelet and the medical alert ID on my watch while I practice my script in my head. Even though I wasn’t here last summer, my speech comes back easily.
I’m only here today because Edith Eichman’s parents knew that their daughter’s organs could save a lot of lives. Over one hundred thousand people are waiting for an organ donation right now, and only three out of every one thousand registered donors end up being viable as donors. The more people registered, the better chance someone waiting will be helped.
I know the statistics aren’t uplifting, but I’ve always found the combo of personal and specific makes more people willing to sign up. They’re already here; they already want to help.
People start showing up before nine, and while it’s neverslammed, it’s busy. I’m grateful for the caffeine pit stop Abbi and I made. My shift involves signing people in, sending them to the waiting area with info on organ donation to read, selling raffle tickets, and giving stickers to kids. I end up directing quite a few people over to Paula and Mom to get swabbed. It’s turning into a really great day, even if my little headache from the morning won’t go away. The number of people willing to come out and help others always lifts my spirits. This year, though, it’s also reminding me how complicated it will be to get a new heart when I need one in the next few years. Finding a match is rare.
Just as the clock is winding down to my shift change, I look up at the next person in line and…it’s Jackson.
“Hey,” he says with his wide bright smile. “I hear this is where we can come to do some good today.”
“Yeah.” I can’t help but smile back. We haven’t made plans to meet up since he came back from Nantucket yesterday. I’ve been busy. Or confused. But I did tell him to stop by if he wanted to. “Thanks for coming. Have you donated before?”
He nods. “At school this past semester.”
“Great.” I hand him a clipboard with the paperwork he’ll need to fill out and launch into my spiel. “Right now, there’s about a ten-minute wait before a nurse will see you. While you’re waiting, if you’d like to register as an organ or marrow donor, we can help you with that really quick over there.” I point to Mom and Paula. “And we also have some raffle tickets for sale.” I pile the small stack of paperwork and pamphlets I give to each person while Jackson scrawls down his information.The day has really heated up, and I’m sweating beneath the white tent. I hope I don’t look too shiny. I pull at my T-shirt to get a little air across my stomach.
“Cool.” He hands back the clipboard and I check to make sure it’s all filled out. “I’m actually already a registered donor, but how much are raffle tickets?”
“Twenty each.” I start looking for the ticket roll.
“I’ll grab a few. And then, what are you doing for lunch? Do you get a break?”
“Um, sort of, not really. We have food here. I’m helping in the donation tent starting, well, ten minutes ago.” I’m still looking for the big red roll of raffle tickets, which for some reason isn’t where I left it last. “Have you seen the tickets?”
