I know! hang tonight?
Sera
DUH. I’ll pick you up. I’m sorry you have to work!
Maddy
See you at 8pm sharp! Apologies in advance if I smell like the fryer
I toss my phone onto the cushion next to me and groan. I’m antsy. I want todosomething, but without Maddy my instinct is to look for Luke and ask him if he wants to get into trouble. We used to spend boring days organizing neighborhood capture-the-flag games or helping with odd jobs we’d catch people in the middle of, even if we weren’t very helpful. The fence at the Waterses’ house is still three different shades of white if you look carefully. I can’t just skip next door like everything’s fine again, but I also don’t want to sit in the house when it’s clearly going to be a beautiful day. I bounce myself off the love seat and go pack for the beach.
Chapter Five
Luke
I trip on Oliver’s skateboard as I leave the house, and the guilt at abandoning my mom while Oliver and Adam are in full-on melee mode tugs me back to the kitchen.
“You sure you’re okay?” Mom has the day off since the shop is always closed on Mondays, and she’s still in her bathrobe, sipping coffee from her favorite mug. She has one eye on her book and one eye out the back door to the yard, where my brothers are a flash of neon bathing suits and tanned skin.
“Yes. Letting them get some energy out and then I’ll take them to the skate park. Enjoy your day off. Go to the beach. Have fun.” She says the last word like I’ve never heard of it before.
I sigh in mock defeat just to see her smile, but I’m actually a little bummed. The last couple weeks have been sitting heavy on me. I didn’t think I’d miss baseball that much, but not having the physical outlet or school means I’m so up in my head all the time now. There’s no avoiding thinking about the billsfor the house or the shop, and my fees for community college courses, and the repairs Mom’s car needs. And now Sera is back, and still angry at me for some stupid reason she’s never explained. I can’t stop thinking about how she looked at me last night, like we don’t know each other at all anymore.
Part of me wishes I had a shift at the marina or a poster to design for a town event to keep my mind off things, but the beach will have to do. I leave my truck in the drive and walk down Beach Rose Lane until I hit the bike path, moving carefully over the shifting sandy ground. I slow as I get closer to Northport Beach. The fog has dissipated, and the sun is out. The place will be packed with Northport locals getting in beach time before the summer people show up and take over. I shift my backpack with my towel and a beat-up paperback in it. I don’t really want to run into any of my friends. In the light of day it’ll all feel too real. The end of high school, everyone leaving for their big colleges and new adventures, and me, staying.Because I want to,I remind myself. Still, when I catch sight of a gap in the scrappy woods marked by a faded red ribbon on a small tree a few feet in, I decide to change my destination.
I push through the trees onto the almost invisible path. It’s badly overgrown. I haven’t been down here much in the last two years. Baby oak trees, sassafras mittens, and springy ferns brush against my arms and legs as I make my way to the ocean. The sound of the water grows louder as I get closer, easing the tightness and worry in my chest. Ten minutes later, the path opens up, revealing my favorite place in Northport: the Beach at the End of the Universe. The stretch of sand is barely longerthan our house, and it sits between scraggly forest to the west and a huge natural rocky outcrop to the east. The rock on the end juts out far enough so that at a run, you can jump safely into the ocean.
Sera and I found it the summer we were ten, right after we became obsessed withThe Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. It was the perfect hideaway with simple rules:Don’t forget your towel, and don’t panic.We would spend hours here, pretending to time travel, making up our own science fiction stories, and generally ignoring the real world, where we both got stared at for our keloid scars and made fun of for being attached at the hip. But we were happiest when it was just the two of us. There were no bossy older sisters or crying baby brothers. When we were at our beach, there were no worries other than making sure we outsmarted any aliens that might show up to kidnap us for studies and torture—and they never caught us because we were too good at jumping universes for them to snag us. To jump universes, we had to sprint off the end of the spaceship rock, jumping as far as we could and shouting out a number before we hit the water. If the number matched how long it took to swim back to shore, then we’d made a successful jump and were no longer on Earth. Nothing serious could get us here. Here we were safe.
So I guess I should’ve known that I wouldn’t be the only one seeking it out today.
Sera’s already here. She’s pitched a small sun tent on the west side near the woods and is halfway to the spaceship rock, eyes on the ground, looking for treasure. Because no one ever comes here, this is always the best place for rare sea glass andintact seashells. I’m technically here to look for some rocks, since I left my art final unfinished and it’s bugging me that it’s not done even though the teacher gave me a pass. I could leave. Sera hasn’t seen me yet. Northport Beach has plenty of rocks too. But I haven’t seen her in so long, and I’ve missed just spending time with her.
Sera crouches down, and the wind catches at the cover-up she’s wearing, revealing a slice of her black bikini. I watch as she stands back up, her hair falling down her back. My heart gallops a few beats.It’s been two years. She doesn’t want you, dumbass,I remind myself, shaking off the sadness that’s threatening to build in my chest.
She must sense me, because she suddenly turns around, pinning me with her soft amber eyes. I wonder if she’ll ask me to leave, and my hand starts to shake, but then she lifts her free hand and offers me a little wave. Like a truce. I take that as permission to join her, and kick my shoes off by her tent, leaving my phone, book, and towel there as well. I try not to stare as she walks over. She puts a pile of shells down and peels off her cover-up, then stands and stretches her back. I force myself to keep my eyes on the shoreline.
“Hey,” she says, quiet but not as dismissive as she was yesterday. “What’s up?”
“Just needed to get out of the house for a bit.” I wince. “My brothers were in the middle of aSuper Mario Smash Bros. Meleereenactment.”
“Yikes.” Sera’s mouth quirks into a smile that’s gone just as fast. I’d give up a whole paycheck just to see it again. “Sounds dangerous.”
“Yeah. The last time I got hit that hard with a pool noodle, I was ten.” She laughs, and it feels like some of the awkwardness from last night has melted away. If this were before, I could hug her or mess with her long brown hair, which is getting tangled in the wind. If this were before, she’d ask me to French braid it—I’m good with knots, thanks to gigs at the marina—while she read from one of her library books or told me the latest hilarious but annoying thing Abbi did. I miss that. I miss her. I’m willing to forget that horrible night that I still don’t understand if she is. I search for something normal to say. “Hope you didn’t take any of the good rocks yet. I was hoping to get a few to finish my art final.”
“Isn’t school over?” Sera teases. I meet her eyes for a moment and shrug.
“Sure, but I hate leaving things unfinished.” I see her shoulders tense a bit as she turns back to the shore. Side by side, we step carefully over the rocky beach to the water. “It just wasn’t done,” I say quickly. I need to relax. We were best friends for years. We should be able to have one normal conversation even if we’re not anymore.
Sera clears her throat. “I’m happy you’re still making art, even though you’re also a jock now.” Her voice is nervous, like she isn’t sure how I’ll take it. I feel my shoulders drop down my back. It’s nice to know we’re both feeling a bit out of sorts.
“Well, just don’t rat me out for doing kid stuff,” I joke back, crouching down to grab a couple flat rocks. After a few more steps I realize she isn’t next to me. I turn to face her. She looks upset. Why do I keep fucking this up? “Hey, I didn’t mean it.” Ireach out and nudge her shoulder, risking a small normal gesture. “You’re just way more talented than I’ll ever be. This is, like, just a hobby for me.”
Sera nods but won’t meet my eye. “Talented. Right.”
In daylight, this close, I can see how the two years have changed her. She’s a little taller, thinner, but also softer, curvier in new places. I try my best not to look at her chest, the bright flash of her keloid scar teasing me from between her breasts. There’s a row of freckles trailing down her stomach, but I halt my eyes there even if my body doesn’t get the message.
“You’re talented too.” Her voice is a soft whisper that stings. “I saw the window art at the shop. And what about the New School? Didn’t you apply?”
