She didn’t laugh like I expected. Time to change the subject, I thought. I said, “What do you think of Alice and Jesse? Is Ames her younger sister?”
Channing took a sip of tea, then raised her chin. “That’s so wild they have a baby. I never thought Alice would be with Jesse. She had a boyfriend for years who her parents hated.”
“They told me they both lived in New York before moving back to East End.”
“Oh, that makes sense. They had to leave East End to find each other. I guess you never know. It’s all changed—everyone is paired up now. Except us.”
“We’re not the only ones.” I laughed. “What about Ames? You two looked like you were having an argument.”
“Yeah, Ames.” Channing grimaced. “I thought she was my friend, but she dropped me after my mom died. Do you know she picks the worst boyfriends? One of them used to cheat at chess. We all knew it, but we couldn’t ever catch him. I quit the team because the teachers always put him ahead of me and Ames, but she stayed in there even when she knew he cheated. How could she accept the second-place trophy? It didn’t mean anything if they gave a cheater first place.”
“Yikes, okay, what about Paul?” I was just trying to lift her spirits. His name popped up in my mind.
She put down her mug of tea. “So, you want to know about Paul, huh?”
“What? He makes good cinnamon rolls.”
She had a look on her face I knew well. “Put yourself out there. It’s not like the lake.”
“My life is fine as it is,” I said as I always did when she started down this path. Channing was on every online dating app and believed in finding true love like in the story of Chunhyang. I didn’t. Instead of seeing it as an aspiration, I saw that old Korean folktale as a warning.
At the mention of the lake, my memory brought me back to when I was a kid. An autumn storm had blown in unexpectedly. I had run toward my house to escape it and fell into a pit formed by an uprooted tree. But my problem didn’t last. It took a while, but I was found by my grandfather eventually.
The hours I was stranded in that crater were nothing compared to Channing’s permanent loss. Channing and I each experienced pivotal events that year, but hers was more significant than mine. Her mother died of cancer. Her life changed drastically, and I hated when she brought up my fall into that pit as if we shared a similar loss. I dismissed it as an unfortunate mishap. She disagreed, said it changed the course of my life just as her mother’s death had altered hers.
“I’m less afraid because of my experience,” she said. “You’re more.”
I didn’t tell her that I’d begun to believe she was right. If I was truthful, I had to admit I felt as if I were running out of life. I meanttime, but the wordlifewas what was on my mind really. As if I’d run down that, too. Why did I feel ancient when I was thirty years old? Would I ever be happy? Did getting lost when I was a child prevent me from seeking true love? I didn’t want to dwell on these questions.
“Let’s watch the new Chunhyang,” I said, changing the subject again. “I’m ready. Go ahead, start it. Stop once the evil magistrate comes to town.”
“When the bad guy comes to town is half the story,” she said.
“I like the episodes before the evil one takes over. You know I hate the part that comes after.”
“It’s just a story. It’s the real-life villains I’m worried about.” She looked up at the ceiling. “I started having nightmares again. Being back here and driving by my old house. Haven’t been able to sleep.”
I joined her on the floor and spread a blanket over our legs. “It makes sense, and you sounded stressed looking after the kids. While Harabeoji and I are here, you should let us help. Go ahead, sleep in. I’ll cover you. I’ll get groceries tomorrow before you all wake up. You know I’m up early anyway, can’t help it, a habit from teaching.”
“You don’t have to. But I’m really glad you came.” Channing patted my leg.
“Okay, now tell me about Minjae,” I said.
She couldn’t hide a smile that spread across her face. “Minjae says Paul is trying to change careers, from working in IT to becoming a gym teacher. He’s applying to graduate school. You should talk to him about it.”
The thought of Paul becoming a teacher brought up my ex to my mind. He had been a colleague at my school when we met. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t date another person in my line of work. “Probably should sell his cinnamon rolls instead. But tell me about Minjae, not Paul.”
“Minjae thinks Paul really wants to work for the New England Revolution but doesn’t believe he’s good enough, so he’s falling back on teaching. He and Minjae both played in college. They miss playing soccer.”
“Enough about Paul. What else did you andMinjaetalk about?”
“When you lost your balance when we got to the house, you sensed something, didn’t you?” Channing spread the blanket over more of my legs and less on hers though the room was cold.
“Why is the air-conditioning on so high in this house?” I said. “Take more of the blanket.”
“I can’t lower it, I’ve tried. For a new house, the controls are old tech. Anyway, I’m fine. Stop changing the subject. What happened to you? You almost fell.”
“Probably just the long drive today. What’s it got to do with Minjae?”
