CARRIE:Anyway, tip of the day, part two
Don’t bring up serious shit when you’re doing doggy. Actually, don’t do doggy—period.
WOLINSKILLMENOW:I feel like this is another master class I could give you. Call me to book.
I start typing out a reply, but my hands are trembling. I close my eyes and take in a few deep breaths, desperately trying to pull myself together. It’s insane what he does to me in just a few short lines.Get your shit together, girl.I need to get a grip. I don’t like how little self-control I have.
I delete my text mid-sentence.
CARRIE:I’m pleased to announce you’ve passed level one with flying colors. Congrats!
I blast it off before I change my mind.
WOLINSKILLMENOW:Am I gonna like level two?
CARRIE:Definitely. It’s time to put everything you’ve learned into practice.
WOLINSKILLMENOW:I am so down.
CARRIE:It’s time to get you a girlfriend.
16DONOVAN
CARRIE:It’s time to get you a girlfriend.
I stare at the message.Make it make sense.Sure, this was my end goal all along, and the whole reason spending time together with Carrie. Still, though—something must have happened to randomly spur her into action tonight. We do a lot of talking, and it’s the first time she’s ever said anything like this. I’m tempted to just fire off a “WTF,” but instead I sit there with my thumb hovering over the screen.
It’s a no-brainer—of course I need a girlfriend. But do I need oneright now? Back when I found out about Amelia and my fuckup, it was the only thing I could think about—becoming the perfect boyfriend and finding a girl I could protect, the way I never protected my sister. A chance to make good. But now I feel in less of a hurry to get with anyone, and all I can think is—why should I?
“Want another drink, Don?” Lewis yells over from the makeshift bar.
I nod. Tod’s party is in full swing, and no matter how many drinks I knock back, I’m finding it hard to get into the vibe. Carrie’s messages had lifted my spirits a little, but this last one just sent me spiraling.
Pocketing my phone, I decide I’ll wait before shooting back a reply.
I grab the glass from Lewis.This should do the trick.
He sinks back in the couch beside me. “Anyone on your radar?”
“Not yet.”
“Who are you, and what did you do with Don?” He frowns at me. “You need to get your ass moving or the hot ones will be gone. You don’t want fangirl scraps.”
He has a point. At this stage of the night, I would normally have a girl hanging off either arm.
I breathe in, narrowing my eyes. I need to focus. Get back to the old, adventurous me. But deep down, all I really want to do is hang out with my buddies and send spicy messages to Carrie.What the fuck is wrong with me?This is what I wanted—isn’t it? Becoming Mr. Nice Guy, thinking of more than just where my next fuck is coming from. So why do I feel so weird? Cute asses are everywhere—I should at least be sneaking a few quick glances, right? Maybe this is all happening just a little too fast. Maybe I should…Fuck. I’m so confused.
I jerk my head up. Gaggles of girls are filling the living room—some of them I recognize, others look like freshmen or transfer students.
A willowy blonde catches my eye—face half-concealed behind a red plastic cup, a tentative smile playing at the corners of her lips. I find myself smiling back at her.Gotcha!
“Nice.” Lewis nods approvingly.
I take a swig of my beer, my eyes still locked on hers. Old me would have jumped right out of his seat and headed straight over to get her warmed up. But the new Donovan hangs back. Carrie would be proud. The girl is cute, low-key. More chill than the other girls she’s with. She’s the opposite of my usual type, which probably means I’m growing as a person, or something. So why is this knot of discomfort lodged in my chest?
Adam strolls over and stands right in front of me, blocking my view. I glance up at him, and slowly but surely, other guys wander over, the conversation turns to cars and sports, and while I’m temptedto whip out my phone, I fight the urge and keep it safe in my pocket. I’m starting to wonder whether Carrie’s message is her way of telling me she’s getting bored of me, and that pisses me off more than it probably should. Personally, I could keep doing this with her for a long while—no drama, just spontaneous really good sex. Really, really good sex… What more could anyone possibly want?Shit!
I run through the past few weeks in my head. Maybe her idea isn’t so bad, after all. If I’m not careful, my situationship with Carrie could stunt my progress. I’m getting too used to it—her. And I’m enjoying the sex way too much for my own good.
