“Is it wrong that I’m tempted to tank my finals accidentally on purpose?” Lewis asks.
I scour the crowds. “Where’s Lane?”
“He’s running a ride,” Lois says.
“Blond or brunette?” I tease.
“Both!”
Once they finally made things official, I was worried Lois might get insecure about the parade of girls who usually cycle through her boyfriend’s back seat. I was nervous Lane would have to drop the driving, but the truth is Lois couldn’t care less, and that makes me like her even more.
“I need to go find Becca. Are you guys doing your meeting at the apartment tonight?”
A girl catches Lewis’s eye, and he starts backing away from us. “Yeah! I’ll bring beer.”
“And I’ll pick up pizza,” I add.
“Nice! See you later.” Lois smiles. “Happy first day, everyone!”
For a split second there, I’ve got this urge to run after her and tell her what’s been on my mind this summer. There’s no way I can talk to the guys about this, but maybe I could open up to Lois. She’s the only girl in our gang, and Lane says she’s got brothers. Maybe she could give me a sister’s perspective on Amelia. A wave of shame ripples over me, and I stand there like a total fucking loser, watching the students head to class.Jesus. I need to shake myself out of this, and fast.
I’M SLUMPED ON LANE’S COUCH,and the good vibes are rolling. Not for me, though. All I can do is scroll through old memories over and over, searching for the missing piece of the puzzle. That one thing I missed.
“You good, Don?”
Good old Adam, ever aware of people’s moods and vibe shifts. He eyes me across the table.
“Yup. Why?”
“You’re usually way more hyped than this. So, what’s up?” He nods at my bottle. “You’ve barely said a word, and you haven’t even started on your beer.”
I look down and take a swig. Warm.Ugh.
He frowns. “Everything’s okay with your dad now, right?”
“Yeah, he’s doing great. He’s getting stronger.”
I seriously need to get out of my own damn head. People are starting to notice, and I hate that. Plus, wasting time and energy on the past is pointless. I can’t change what happened back then. I can’t repair what can’t be fixed.
“I’m going to grab another drink,” I say, jumping to my feet. “Want one?”
“I’m good.”
I make a beeline for the kitchen and pluck a beer out of the fridge. Becca hands me a bottle opener, mid-conversation with Lois.
“Still gushing over your boyfriends?” I quip.
“Well, if youmustknow, we were talking about Lane’s birthday party last year.” Becca smiles. “It’s been a year since I got with Carter.”
Lois bursts out laughing. “It’s insane to think you were originally planning on spending the night with Don.”
I widen my eyes. “Oh my God, yes! Now I remember! That asshole stole my girl!”
I had totally forgotten that part, but yeah—I was the one who invited Becca to that party, but she ended up crushing on Lane’s childhood friend instead. Not that I ever gave a shit which particular girl I spent the night with, as long as I had one. My stomach churns. Which is exactly how I ended up with the problem I’m dealing with now.
“Actually, whydidyou pick him over me?” I ask.
She looks at me as if I’ve just contracted the plague, and while I get that it’s kind of a weird question, I suddenly have this urge to understand how girls see me. It’s not like I’ve ever had any complaints, or anything, but my sister’s accusations are making me question everything I thought I knew.
