The bathroom lock slides open, and I turn.
Holy shit.
“Nice dress,” I say simply.
And it’s true—the fabric clings to each and every curve.
“Becca left it behind. I’m too fat for this kind of thing, but the color’s perfect.”
Too fat?I don’t think so.
“It’s my last chance to wear it, anyway,” she continues. “As soon as she spots it at the party, she’ll probably snatch it right off me.”
“Not unless I beat her to it,” I mutter under my breath.
“What did you say?”
“Come on, let’s go.”
“Do we need to swing by yours, first?”
I shake my head. “No—why?”
Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “You’re just gonna wear a T-shirt?”
“My shirt’s in the car. Along with my tie.” I wink at her.
“Jesus!”
“You should wear your hair down.”
She snorts. “Now it’s definitely staying up.”
As she leans over her desk, I suddenly really want to check out her ass. Which is exactly what I do. She reaches into her bag and sprays a little fragrance on her neck, slips her jacket off a hanger, and pulls open the door.
“Okay,” she sighs. “Let’s do it.”
She locks up, and when she turns back to me, her face is like sour milk.
“Is coming to dinner with me really such a pain in your ass?”
“It’s just weird, that’s all…”
“Why?” I frown. “All my friends have had dinner with my parents, Carrie. It’s a totally normal situation.”
I’m lying, of course. But how else can I get her to relax?
THE DRIVE TO DAD’S ISsmooth and breezy—we barely have time to argue about whether naming your penis is cute (according to me) or weird (according to Carrie). I pull into the carport.
She slams the car door. “I’m telling you—giving your dick a nickname is instant ick.”
“My exes didn’t think so.”
“Wolinski, please listen to me very carefully. It’s not a thing. And it’s especially gross when you consider Lewis uses that exact same repulsive name, too.” She snorts. “How do you even get onto that topic, anyway? Like, ‘Hi, I’m Donovan Wolinski, meet the Punisher—my dick’?”
“Hi there, Mrs. Hartmann!” I call over her head, waving at my neighbor.
Carrie freezes mid-rant and half turns toward her. The older woman lifts a hand covered in dirt before going right back to gardening.
