She tucks her legs underneath her. “What’re you studying?”
“Mechanical engineering.”
“Oh my God, she’sperfect!”
Help me, somebody… Anybody…
My eyes drift over to Lewis—standing by the window, talking to two dudes. I reach for the wine bottle and pour myself a fresh glass.
“So, was it a love-at-first-sight kinda situation with you guys?” Carrie asks just as I’m leaning back, and I’m so shocked by the question, I spurt out my mouthful.
What the actual fuck? What does that even mean? Am I really that transparent?
“What kind of fucked-up question is that?” I splutter.
“So, that’s a yes, then?”
She puts her hands together in prayer, her eyes brimming with hope.
What is wrong with this girl?
“No.”
She lets out a heavy sigh. “That’s too bad.”
Lois is giggling to herself, and I can’t figure out what the punch line is.
“We were hoping the dumbass would get himself a girlfriend before we graduate. Before it’s too late to save him,” she adds. “And you would’ve been perfect. You would’ve whipped his ass into shape, I know it. I was hoping you’d fall in love with him so hard and fast that you wouldn’t have time to even think it through.”
She just described my exact situation.
“Because that’s his only hope, honestly,” she continues. “Get the girl quick, before she realizes what she signed up for.”
“Is he really that bad?”
She brings a finger to her chin. “If I say no, is there a chance you could still fall madly in love with him?”
“Negative.”
I glance at her, praying she actually buys my bullshit. The worst part about this whole conversation is that the more she gives me herspiel, the closer I want to get to Lewis, and I can’t tell who’s crazier—me or Carrie.
“How come I feel my ears burning?”
There’s a soft give behind me as Lewis places his hands on either side of my shoulders, hovering just above me. He crept up so quietly, I didn’t even realize. I keep my face blank—anything to hide my jitters.Whatever you do, don’t look at his forearms.If I turn my head now, my cheek will brush his skin, and…
“You must be psychic,” Carrie beams, “because we werejustdiscussing micropenises!”
“You’re a funny woman, Wolinski. You should be onstage!” He looks down at me. “Don’t listen to her, Amy. Carrie just can’t handle the fact that she’s obsessed with me.” He winks at her. “And sheknowsshe’s full of shit. She’s been lucky enough to see my dick up close.”
I clench my jaw, but when Carrie stuffs her fingers in her ears and pretends to puke, I feel myself relax.
“The memories… So triggering!” she shrieks.
Lois laughs. “Guess I missed that episode!”
“It was totally aboveboard,” Lewis starts, giving my shoulder a quick squeeze. “I went to go pee. Didn’t shut the door. She just burst in like a wild animal before I had time to put it away.”
“Interesting.” I arch an eyebrow at him.
