Oh, fuck you!
“See you around, Hitman.”
His voice is thick with unspoken words. I give it a solid minute before I glance back over my shoulder.Is that it?That’s it. There he is,diving right back into the Pontiac, and something inside me softens, stirs. My car is like an extension of myself, and watching him bent over it, tending to it like that… It’s like seeing him lavish his attention on me, too.
“Oh my God! Is that Lewis?”
My head snaps up. Raven is opening her trunk, beaming, and I know her voice like my own—there’s no way she’s fooling me.
“You aresucha bad actor. You knew he was here, didn’t you?”
“Guilty as charged!”
“When were you planning on telling me?”
“Telling you?” She laughs. “And miss that look on your face? Never!”
“I hope my niece ruins your life!” I hiss, glaring at her belly.
Just a few more months to go now, and man, does it show. It’s a miracle she manages to get out of bed.
“Who said it’s a girl?” She pouts.
“It better be—you deserve a Hitman daughter.”
“Bring it on, baby! After all the crap I went through with you, this should be a cakewalk.”
She leaves me standing there, speechless. Because the truth is, she has a point.
WITH NO SECRET LEFT TOkeep, RJ finally—finally!—unlocks the door that leads directly from my apartment to the garage, and I sneak up to the walkway for a better look.
The three guys are all down there, working on my car side by side, and I spend the next hour watching them. I do the same the next day, and then the next, until I blow my cover when I trip over a bucket of screws thatsoshouldn’t have been there.Definitely an RJ booby trap!
The next time I get to my lookout, there’s a chair waiting for me, but I make a point of ignoring it for a good ten minutes, until my leg can’t take it anymore. I want so badly to roll up my sleeves and get dirty with them, but I hang back.
RJ and Lewis are getting along just fine. I hadn’t expected Lewis to be such a skilled mechanic, but it’s making me want to work on car stuff with him. Our eyes accidentally meet when he ducks out from under the Pontiac’s hood, and I look away. Seeing him here every day is hard. He looks way too at home in my world—so why does everything feel so complicated?
“I’m sorry, Firebird.”
That’s what he said to me, but that’s not what I wanted to hear. I mean, itis—but I was hoping for more. I must be a sucker for pain, because despite it all, I head out to watch them night after night, dragging my chair closer and closer until finally I’ve got a front-row view. My car still isn’t what it used to be, but the scars are gradually fading.On both of us.
Lewis is taking this seriously, that’s for sure—he spends hours here with Esteban and RJ, casting me glances every now and then, like he’s waiting for me to do something. The whole situation is unreal. I’ve stopped looking away now, and RJ keeps having to cough to get us to focus. I don’t know where this is headed, exactly, but I’m not wrestling with that sense of overwhelming anger anymore. And that feels good.Is this enough for me? Could it ever be enough?
“Wrong wrench!” I bark at Esteban.
He laughs. “She’s back in business, guys!”
“Nope.” I shake my head at him. “Not that one, either. Let me…”
I limp over to the trolley, shoving him back with one crutch and easing myself down onto the creeper. Not one of them offers to help me—they all know better than to get in my way.
I slide under the engine, taking a deep breath in. The smell of grease, and oil, and fuel… It feels so good to be back.
Lewis appears to my left. “Need a hand?”
No. I need more than just your hand.
He’s right there, a breath away from me, and my fingers are quivering. It doesn’t matter how high I build a wall against him, I can’tshrug him off, and it’s getting harder and harder to keep my distance.Haven’t you learned anything from all this, Amy?
