I jerk my head up, mopping my forehead with the back of my hand.
“You’re always there, lurking in the shadows, aren’t you?”
Esteban just looks at me for a moment. I glance down at my fingers. Mascara must be smudged all over my face, but I don’t give a shit.He’s seen me cry before—back when Dad died. I know he hates seeing me this way.
“What can I say?” He shrugs. “Call it a sixth sense for when you need me.”
He’s been saying that since elementary school.
“I call bullshit. A sixth sense for trouble, more like.”
“Really? Because it seems like I ended up in Sycamore Heights right when—”
I wield the sledgehammer at him. “Emil sent you—remember? So, enough of the ‘I’m your hero’ stuff.”
A slow smile spreads over his lips. I know Emil sent him to Ohio. I also know that it has nothing to do with helping RJ. Esteban has been sent to look after me.
Keeping my eyes on his, I leap to the ground. I was pissed that he tracked me down to my new town, but I’m suddenly grateful he’s here. He’s been trying to warn me from the get-go, and I refused to listen—that was a mistake. I pushed him and all the others away, when he’s one of the rare people who knows me—reallyknows me. Someone who doesn’t want to change me, or use me, or hurt me.
He stretches out a hand. “Let’s go grab a drink. Take your mind off your driver.”
He gets it. He understands the rage fueling me. But what he doesn’t see is that it’s going to take way more than a drink to move on from this. There’s only one way to stop the pain.More pain.
“I’ve got a better idea.”
When I take one slow step toward him, his eyes light up in recognition.
“Good to see you again, Hitman.”
He pulls me in, hoisting me up onto the remains of the Dodge, and when his tongue parts my lips, my brain switches to autopilot. Just the taste of him… Memories come flooding back, and I can’t tell whether they’re sweet or salty. More to the point, I don’t care. I’m so tired of overthinking every little step. Living without a thought for what comes tomorrow is so much easier.
I am Amy Hitman.
And this has been a long time coming.
28LEWIS
I scribble down the solution to the equation, slip my pen into my pocket, and get to my feet. I finished the test before anyone else, and I should be feeling damn good about it all. Classes are going smoothly, the Cardinals are sailing up the rankings, my tryouts went like a dream, and I’ve got two more lined up. I should be on top of the world, grabbing drinks with my buddies, kicking back on dates with random girls, driving around with the wind in my hair. Instead, I’m standing in the middle of the parking lot, frowning at my phone.
LEWIS:Still on for our lesson?
I don’t usually check in with her like this, but it’s probably a good idea. Amy skipped our last two one-on-ones, and I know I went a little quiet on her at the start of the year, but this is bad news. I haven’t seen her since our gym session last week, and I’m starting to feel edgy.What’s up with that?Deep down, I know it has nothing to do with the Campus Drivers. I miss her—it’s as simple as that. It feels like I spent way too long denying my feelings, which makes things even worse.
I’ve been feeling weird since that conversation with Adam when I got back from Atlanta, when he asked me what was going on with us. I kind of stalled a little. I gave him the usual spiel about not taking itseriously, but the more time goes on, the more I can’t help but wonder. Not seeing her is eating away at me.
I tried to kid myself at the start, but it’s getting harder to play it business as usual. I’m feeling her absence, and it sucks. The truth is, I miss her—and not just as a way of distracting myself whenever I feel pissy or overwhelmed. I mean, Imissher. And I suddenly need to know whether she feels the same. She never even hinted at wanting something serious, and acknowledging that I do is freaking me out. It’s like I’ve been caught in my own trap.I thought having a girlfriend was supposed to feel good.
There’s still no sign of Firebird ten minutes later.
LEWIS:I’m in the usual spot.
Six minutes more go by.
LEWIS:In the parking lot.
Another three.
LEWIS:Hello? Where are you?
