“Even though I do my best to drive him nuts,” Carrie whispers into my ear.
She can sense how tense I am, but though she’s doing her best to smooth things over, it’s just making things worse.
I hear Lewis and Adam shuffling around the living room, and I stiffen. There’s trouble in the air, I can feel it in my bones, but I stay rooted to the ground. This opportunity is too good to pass up.
“Listen, if you’re digging being in a relationship, then I’m happy you’re happy. But it’s not for me,” Lewis is saying.
“You haven’t even given it a shot…”
“Dude, this is Amy Hitman we’re talking about.”
I flinch. I hate the way he just said my name. I glance at Carrie, and suddenly, I know—the way she’s reaching for the door, the way she’s trying to push past me… She knows the worst is yet to come. I stare her down and shoot Lois a look for good measure. The two girls recoil. I want to hear everything Lewis has to say.Every last word.
“She’s not girlfriend material, and that’s exactly what I like about her. We get along just fine. We’re on the same wavelength.”
I used to think that, too.
“You sure about that?” Adam doesn’t sound convinced.
“For sure.”
“You normally jump from girl to girl—so, how come with Amy, you’re making plans to see her as soon as you fly in?”
Silence.
I wish I could see his face right now.
“I don’t know,” Lewis starts slowly. “Everything else feels like this blur—the Campus Drivers, college, basketball… It’s overwhelming.” He sighs. “But with Amy, it’s the opposite—time stops. Being with her feels like I’m tearing up the rule book. She’s like a guilty pleasure. A cheat day.”
Oh no. No, no, no…
I never knew what a broken heart felt like. But now I do. I wasn’t expecting this, but in a flash, I finally get it—all those times I felt soconfused, all the times nothing made sense… I thought it was a me thing. As it turns out, it’s him.
While Lewis rambles on about how damn “useful” I am to him, every word slices deeper and deeper into me, and I think back to the time Emil tried to describe what it felt like when he got stabbed. Lewis just cut my heart right open, and I never would have guessed that loving someone could hurt this bad.
The pain is searing, shooting through my chest, clawing at my throat. I can’t tell whether I’m about to scream or throw up or die from the sadness of it all.
“Lewis, you should—”
“I really need to let Amy know I’m late,” he interrupts.
And I really need to get the hell out of here.
His footsteps echo closer and I freeze, suddenly terrified he’s about to notice the door is ajar, but he drifts by without glancing my way.
I walk backward to the stairs, my legs shaking so hard I can barely manage the steps.
“What happened to your face?” Lois gasps.
“Accident at the shop,” I say, turning away.
“Amy, wait—”
“Not a word.” I lock eyes with Carrie. “You hear me?”
“You can’t just leave like this…” Lois sounds worried.
“You know what guys are like,” Carrie says. “Especially Lewis, he’s—”
