“Have fun with your jock. I’ll be sticking around for a while. When you finally wake up and realize he isn’t the guy for you, gimme a call.”
“Because let me guess—you’rethe guy for me. Right?” A flush creeps across my cheeks.
“I never asked you to change. I never will,” he says. “I like your edges. I like when you’re scrappy. I like it when you hit the track, when you destroy those racer boys. Because that’s who you really are, isn’t it? Don’t try and tell me you—”
“Get the fuck out of here.”
I keep my arms clenched by my sides. I want so badly to break his jaw. And luckily for me, he slinks out of the shop before I can act on my impulse.
My heart is pounding so hard, it’s deafening. Esteban was goading me, nudging me to the brink, trying to get me to snap. And I nearly proved him right. Deep down, I’m defenseless against everything he just threw in my face. What he said was true—and there’s nothing I can do to change it.
I set about finishing the tires, my fingers fumbling as I rush, and once I’m finally done, I slide the shutters closed and dash up to my room. My hands are shaking when I shut the door behind me. My ex has muddied the glow I was basking in earlier, stirring the doubts I’ve been trying so hard to still.
I collapse to the ground and sit against the wall, pulling my knees up to my chest. Ten minutes… I just need ten minutes to steady my heart.I know Lewis and I come from different worlds. Iknowthat. But fuck, I refuse to let my past define who I am. I amnota bad person. I’ve messed up, sure. But I’m twenty years old with a whole life ahead of me, and I have the power to shape my future. Lewis can see that—I’m sure of it. If he couldn’t, he would’ve ditched me months ago.
I’m doing my best to build myself up, but with each fresh thought, my doubt deepens. I dig my nails into my scalp to quiet my mind and cast a glance at my phone. Lewis said he’d message when he was leaving, but my screen is blank. I almost want to call him to double-check he’s still coming, but it’s like my brain has stalled.If he doesn’t come, I’m gonna…
“He will come,” I reassure myself. “He will.”
I make a beeline for the bathroom, and as the hot water cascades over me, I sort through my thoughts. Esteban only sees me for the person I once was. That’s what comforts him, it’s what makes him feel safe. He never had a hold on me before, so why should now be any different?
I’m Amy Fucking Hitman. I’ve got this.
“Amy?”
Lewis’s voice cuts through the running water, and the relief is so overwhelming I could cry.
“Amy?”
“Just in the shower!” I yell back.
I pour a little gel into the palms of my hands, scrubbing myself down as fast as I can. Lewis never said how long he wanted to hang out, but I don’t want to waste a single second.
The door squeaks on its hinges, and through the shower curtain, all I can make out is his outline.
“Let me guess—nature calling again?”
“In a way,” he says.
The shower curtain slides to the side and I hardly have time to turn when I feel Lewis’s bare chest pressing into my back.
“You—”
His mouth covers mine.
I cling to his shoulders to stop myself from slipping as he clasps my face between his hands and tilts my head back, kissing me deeper, harder; a soft moan escaping my throat.Thank you. Thank you, Lewis—this is exactly what I need. And I was so scared I might not get to taste it again.
His kiss is hot and heavy, his tongue searching for me, trying to pin me down, fueled by an urge to tame me. He comes up for air before leaning in for more, this time sliding his hands down my arms and to my sides, grabbing my ass as my heart hammers in my chest. The steam, the excitement of it all, the stress… My head starts to spin. Lewis pulls me in to feel how hard he is, and just when he starts to nudge into me, I step aside, prizing myself away from his lips.
“Whoa, boy.”
I’m struggling for air, and when I meet his gaze, his eyes are shining.
“What’s wrong?” he rasps. “Don’t you want it?”
“Of course I do. But we’re missing something.” I look at him pointedly. “You know?”
He looks down between his legs and shuts his eyes.
