“You take that back!”
My eyes dart back and forth between them. This is one hell of acatfight, and I have to admit, I’m getting a kick out of it. It’s almost making me wish I’d grown up with a brother.
“I don’t like knowing you’re getting laid in the room right next to Joey.” Raven shrugs. “So sue me.”
“You seriously need to chill, sis. Nothing happened in my room. We did it doggy on the back of the Aston Martin and that was enough of a dick fix for me.”
My coffee goes down the wrong way, and I start spluttering, doing my best not to spit it out all over Raven. I widen my eyes at Amy, but she’s caught up in a staring match with her sister. Neither of them blink.
“It wasn’t doggy, actually,” I say quietly.
“A big, throbbing dick fix,” Amy says slowly.
I shoot her a smile. “That’s really sweet of you. But can anyone tell me what the hell is going on right now?”
“Try harder, Amy. You think because I’m married to a woman, a little ‘dick’ is going to trigger me?”
Out of nowhere, a woman with an Afro comes bursting into the living room.
“I head out for a few hours, and you guys start talking dick behind my back?”
I shake my head. “Disgrace, dude!”
The woman drops her bag and coat by the front door and strides across the room to plant a kiss on Raven’s mouth.
Her sister’s wife, then.
This surprise breakfast has been an insightful glimpse into Amy’s world, at least.
“I’m Charlotte,” she offers as she pours herself a coffee, and for a moment, she just stands there, taking us all in. “Am I interrupting something?”
“Yeah. A cross-examination,” Amy snaps.
“This your boyfriend?”
We both roll our eyes in perfect sync.
“Yeah. We’ve got this vision of a full-moon handfasting. Maybe go raise albino goats in Patagonia together, or something.”
“Call me weird, but that sounds kinda great.” I smile. “Though you initially said dwarf elephants in Bali. Next time, try discussing big life changes with me first, okay? Disgrace, dude!”
“Are we fighting in front of my family?”
“Did you discuss my dick in front of your family?”
“I played loose with the details,” she snaps. “It’s really not all that big.”
Charlotte laughs. “So, how’d you guys meet?”
“College,” I say. “Classes start back tomorrow, and I need to get some stuff ready, so…”
“What!” Amy pouts. “You’re leaving already?”
“I’m the only guy here.” I shrug. “I feel so vulnerable.”
“I’m here!”
The voice is sweet and thick with sleep, and I turn to see a kid dart behind the couch to join us at the table. There’s sleepy dust clinging to his eyelashes, but that doesn’t stop him from performing a series of karate kicks at Amy, finishing off with a punch to her stomach, and she doubles over in mock agony.
