Muffled sounds.
“Wait. Where?”
I still can’t hear.
“No freaking way! You got a horseshoe shoved up your ass, or something?!”
I press my ear closer to the door, but I still can’t make out Heartbreak’s voice, so I head back over to join my best friends around the coffee table. Unfortunately for Kirk, he’s right there in my line of vision.
“So! How long you been screwing Juliet?” I start, falling back onto the couch.
He splutters on his drink, his eyes darting around the room, looking for Heartbreak, I’m sure.
“It’s a recent thing.” He coughs.
“Where’s Lois?” Donovan has lowered his voice, but it’s loud enough for Kirk to hear.
“In my room,” I lie.
Don’s smile widens as he realizes what I’m trying to do. I have no fucking clue why, but I’m getting a kick out of brushing this guy up the wrong way. The sweet taste of revenge—payback for him saddling me with a roommate I never wanted.
“Time to give Laney his surprise!” Lewis whips out a rectangular box. “Here, birthday boy. This is from all of us.”
While I’m busy checking out the wrapping paper, the girls wander back over. I glance up. Lois looks awkward at being forced into the same room as Kirk, surrounded by all of us.
“Isn’t this the same gift wrap as last year?”
“You know what Lewis is like.” Adam laughs. “Ofcourseit’s the same. Folded up nice and neat in his ‘birthday stuff’ box.”
“I got that one, too,” adds Carter.
“Wrapping paper should be ripped and shredded!” Becca calls out, and the guys exchange glances. She doesn’t know she’s playing with fire.
“If he rips it, I’m slashing his tires,” Lewis threatens.
He’s deadly serious, and his wrapping paper obsession is serious, too. He keeps it all, no exceptions. And if I mess up peeling off thetape, he’ll make me pay. I start unwrapping my gift like it’s a bomb about to explode, Lewis watching me like a hawk, the others smirking.
“Wow, a car radio! This is insane, guys.” I hold it up. “Thank you!”
“How old is that thing?” Becca leans over. “Is that from seventies?”
“We went for vintage vibes to match Lane’s car,” Don explains. “Don’t be fooled, though, the features are crazy good.”
Lewis holds out a hand for his precious paper. I get to my feet and thank my friends, leaving Juliet until last.
“Sorry, I gotta run.” She tightens her braid. “Work calls.”
“I’ll come with you,” Kirk says, too fast.
“Catch you later, guys!”
“See you soon, Kirk!” Carter raises his bottle.
“Or not,” I snicker under my breath.
I hug Juliet goodbye, and when Kirk holds out an unsure hand, I shake it loosely, staring him square in the eye. I don’t know Lois well at all, but I’m struggling to picture them as a couple. It makes me happy to think of how Juliet will chew him up and spit him back out without a second thought. With any luck, he’ll be back in a flash to collect his lost property from my apartment, and everyone will get what they want and live happily ever after. The end. I glance behind me, following his gaze to where Lois is standing back in the kitchen, drinking a little too fast while chatting away to Carter and Becca. He frowns, turns back to the door, and leaves. He’s been eyeing Lois ever since he caught sight of her here, but she’s so hammered she hasn’t even noticed.
The evening rolls by nice and chill, and as the booze, pizza, and video games flow, it doesn’t take me long to forget all about Heartbreak.
