The two idiots can barely contain their excitement, and I know them way too well: They aren’t going to give up. I don’t know what they’re angling for, but I do know I’m fucked. My folks really did the bare minimum when it came to raising me, but I’m not a complete asshole. Not to the point where I’d leave a girl high and dry like this, anyway.
“Fuck!” I yell, as I start striding toward the sidewalk. “Heartbreak, get in the car!”
She jerks her head up. “Where are we going?”
“I’m taking you back to my place.”
“How come?”
“Get. In. The. Car.” I point.
Just before I slide into my seat, I turn back to my so-called besties.
“You guys are staying here. I’m not driving you anywhere. Figure it out!”
As revenge plans go, this one is pretty lame: All they have to do is message Adam and they’ll have themselves a new driver. But it feels good, and that’s all that counts.
“See you later,” Lewis coos, waggling his fingers at me. “Have a good evening, Lois!”
I drive without saying a word, the music turned up to the max. She likes Tool, huh? Well, she’s getting it.
I screech to a halt in front of my building, get out of the car, and heave her goddamn bags from my trunk.
“Wait, Lane. Let me—”
“Let you what?”
“I mean—”
“Just get inside before I change my mind.”
I hit the stairs, taking the steps three at a time, yanking open the front door and throwing her bags into the hallway before stomping to my room to pull on a fresh tee.
Back in the living room, Lois is hovering between the kitchen and the couch.
“I’m out of here,” I sigh, slipping two twenties out of a drawer. “Use the alone time to figure out a plan B, because this is your last night here,” I say sharply.
Her eyes are filling up, and my shoulders loosen.
“Listen, it’s nothing personal,” I sigh. “It’s just… I’ve lived alone since forever, and—”
“I totally get it.” She cuts me off brusquely, sniffing. “I hate this, too, you know, I can’t tell you how bad. You’ve done more than enough already, I don’t plan on overstaying my welcome. Tomorrow, I’ll be gone.”
I flash her a thumbs-up, turn on my heel, and exit, leaving heralone in my apartment for the third time. This party couldn’t have come at a better time, because I seriously need a drink.
I NEVER SET AN ALARM.Why would I, when I have my own personal wake-up call—sweetly named Carter—who repeat-dials me at the crack of dawn every day? Threats don’t work; I’ve tried. No matter what I do, he starts blowing up my phone the second a wild idea strikes. What we do is peculiar enough as it is, but Carter is a complete oddball.
I pick up on his fourth attempt, my voice still husky with sleep.
“Carter, have I told you lately that I hate you?” I rub my eyes. “You’re coming by tonight, right? So couldn’t this wait? I’m still sobering up!”
“Not my problem, buddy!” It’s as if I can hear him grinning down the phone. “I bumped into Lewis. He told me you’re free today. I’ll be there in fifteen!”
“Awesome,” I deadpan.
I drag myself into the kitchen, stabbing at the remote to open the blinds. I’m standing there stark naked, and it takes me a few seconds and a weird, animal-like grunting sound to remember there’s some girl on my couch. The way she’s slumped there with those druggie-diva shades firmly fixed to her face, I have no way of telling whether she can see my dick from where she’s lying. I’m no prude, but I’m guessing she’d go into full meltdown mode if she caught me staring at her from the kitchen with a solid case of morning wood. I hit the button on the remote again, and the blinds stop halfway down.
I’m a little surprised, to be honest: I expected her to be gone by now, since that’s what she’s done every other morning she’s ever slept over. Finding her still here when I get up makes the whole thing feel even more annoying. There’s a reason I’ve lived alone for the past three years. I worked hard to build myself a sanctuary, and this chick is ruining it all. Plus, there’s the fact that she’s fallen apart over some guy, as if a breakup meant the end of the world or something. I may have been wasted last night, but I could hear her crying and tossingand turning, making it into a whole big deal. It got so bad, at one point I thought about taking her back downstairs to stop myself from suffocating her with my pillow, and then (thank fuck!) she finally fell asleep. She can’t hit the road soon enough!
