“Lois!”
She nearly trips when she hears me, and I stride over, taking in big gulps of air as I go.
“Can we get a coffee?”
She blinks a few times, raising her eyebrows, parting her lips to speak.
“I’ve been thinking, and I—”
“Nope.”
Sharp, decisive. One little word cuts the breath out of me. She didn’t even have to think twice.
“N-no?” I stammer.
“Nope.”
She turns on her heel and walks away. I was expecting a whole other situation, and I suddenly realize just how bad I’ve hurt her.
I rush back home and fling open my laptop as soon as I stepthrough the front door. The thing. That thing I couldn’t quite grasp, the idea hovering somewhere beyond my reach—now I get it. Now I know what it is. It’s the part where I fucked everything up. I rewrite the moment, piecing it back together. In this version, there’s no yelling, no red mist—just me calmly telling her everything that room means to me. Getting it all down on paper is freeing, but as I move on to the next scene, the blank page stares back at me. How do I write the part where she reacts, now that Lois is gone for good?
30LOIS
Ever since Adam screwed me more than three weeks ago, ever since Lane asked me to grab a coffee, I’ve been dedicating all my brain space to studying. The way he came up to me like that—the exact same way Kirk did—is a stark reminder of how badly they both hurt me. The wound that had started to scar is raw and tender all over again, but I’m proud I stood my ground. Let him drive himself crazy, while I carry on stepping into my best self—no matter how much it stings.
Hope and Prudence have taken it upon themselves to spend every Tuesday night building me back up over a post–water aerobics bottle of wine. I was expecting them to bombard me with questions about how down I am and what happened with Lane; I thought they would be engineering some kind of sweet revenge plan for me to execute. Instead, they while away the hours with stories of the wild lives they’ve led, each anecdote more gripping than the last. It’s unreal how strong these two ladies are—they’ve got more than sixty years on me, but I’ve never met such a pair of total badasses. Slowly but surely, they’re rubbing off on me, and the Lois I hope to become is gradually taking shape in my mind. Was this their plan all along? I have no idea. All I know is that I’m so glad we met.
This morning, Adam got back in touch out of the blue. I washoping he’d forget how I promised to help decorate the house they rented for their party, but nope: I got a text telling me he’d swing by to pick me up from campus, and though I drafted a hundred different ways to back out of it, I ended up just sending an “OK.”
Sliding into the passenger seat, I give him a long, hard stare. I’m through with playing games.
“Is Lane going to be there?”
“No—he’s coming by with the booze around five, so you can just head out then.”
Adam seems kind of upset by the whole thing. This guy is such a sweetheart—I kind of wish my heart had picked him instead.
Fifteen minutes later, we pull up outside the most unreal house, and I feel a pinch as I remember I won’t be coming to the party.
“So now you know how to get here,” Adam says as he unbuckles his seat belt.
“You know I’m not coming, right?”
“You know I’m not going to stop pushing, right?”
He shoots me a grin, and I smile back at him.
Adam always makes me feel so welcomed. Two hours drift by, and before I know it, I’m hanging decorations from the ceiling, singing my heart out and swaying from side to side, only realizing too late that the stepladder has started to shake, and as I feel the rung give way beneath my feet, I cry out.
“Shit!”
My arms windmill as I go flying through the air. I hear Adam lunge for me, and it’s a good job he’s so quick on his feet and big enough to take the hit. Muscly, too. And he smells just as good as Lane.
“Nice catch, Laney!”
I recognize Donovan’s voice somewhere in the distance, and I freeze. Strong arms are wrapped tight around me. Arms I know all too well. My eyes are shut, and I don’t want to open them just yet.Put me down already.
I mutter a quick “Thank you,” my breath catching in my chest.The smell of him is all over me, stirring memories that are still too painful to handle. Lane’s green eyes scan my face, and I shift uncomfortably in his arms. A strange expression flits over his features when, finally, he lets me go.
