“Actually, what I really need right now are M&M’s.”
“That works,” she says, whipping a family-size pack out of the closet. “I gotta run. Catch you later?”
As she shuts the door behind her, I realize she hasn’t asked me a single question, and I’m grateful.
I jump in the shower, pull on my ugliest leggings and my oversize hoodie, and curl up in my new bed. Here I am again, leeching off yet another kind soul, and I know I can’t keep doing this. I decide to block off the day for a major pity party before I give myself a kick in the ass.
I’VE BEEN CAMPED OUT ONBecca’s bed for a whole week now, and I’d love to say the past few days have brought fresh perspective and a new attitude—but I’d be lying. I’m still as lost as ever, and I’ve got myself stuck in a routine that’s making Carrie lose her mind. Luckily, she’s way easier to live with than Lane, and I have a real bed all to myself, too. At least, that’s what I tell myself whenever I find myself missing him. I just need to ride this out. I’ll get over it—I know I will.
“No more overthinking!”
Carrie throws a cushion at my face, and I toss it back at her.
“I never thought I’d end up missing Becca,” she says, pulling on her pants. “Cut it out, okay?”
“Sorry…”
“I’m not having another friend lose it over some guy.”
“Another friend? What happened?”
“Just… Never mind. Listen, there’s more to life than guys, Lois.”
Once she’s done dressing, she heads to the bathroom, and I sit on Becca’s bed, staring at her bookshelf, chewing on my lip. Living here feels so weird, but I’m not complaining. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I’m starting to realize I should have checked out of Lane’s place a long time ago. He helped me out when I was at my lowest—I clung to him for reassurance, and while that was exactly what I needed as a stopgap, it didn’t help me grow. Carrie is right. I need to take ownership of my life like a big girl.
I force myself out of bed and yank on my clothes. On my way to campus, I consider the facts. I haven’t heard a word from Lane, and that tells me everything I need to know. I’ve done my best to avoid the rest of the Campus Drivers. That leaves Kirk as the only person I keep seeing—wherever I go, he’s right there like a shadow. I glance around me. I’ve been bumping into him pretty much constantly these days, and it’s absolutely wild to think that while once that was all I ever wanted, right now it’s pissing me off.
“You got a minute, Lois?”
Like I said…
“Kirk. Hey.”
He peers at me. “You okay?”
“Never better,” I drawl. “How can I help?”
My coolness catches him off guard.
“So you’re not living with Lane anymore,” he blurts, gawking at me.
Talk about getting straight to the point.
“It took a while, but I got a dorm room in the end.”
I decide to leave it there, but his face is brightening, and I wonder how he found out.
“That’s awesome!”
I grit my teeth. “Yeah. Really awesome. Thanks for caring, by the way.”
“Ouch.” He winces, a pained expression on his face. “I deserved that. So—you guys still together?”
“Nope.”
We were never together in the first place—but Kirk doesn’t need to know that. And I know that Lane’s the reason he’s back sniffing around me.
“Can I buy you a coffee?”
