Because I’m fighting every urge in my body not to throw myself at you.I grip the side of the couch, willing myself not to give in, willing myself not to move. I hold it all back until I can’t fight the feeling anymore. It’s not a conscious decision—it’s a wave that crashes over me and sweeps me under. Adrenaline is surging in me as I leap over the backrest and let myself fall behind her. She gasps as I stretch out spooning her. The seat is wide, but not wide enough for Lois to get away. She’s already at the edge and nearly falls off trying to shoot me a confused look. I ignore it and place my hand on her hip to keep hersteady. She swallows hard. I can tell her mind is racing behind her furrowed brow.
“Should I scoot over?”
“No, I’m good.”
“What are you doing?” she whispers, a quiver in her voice.
I pretend to weigh my options.
“You know what you haven’t done these past four years?”
She turns to look at me with a curious air, her body still against mine. Looking her straight in the eye, I run my hand up and down her leg, from her knee to her hip and back again, waiting for her to react. Her hair smells so good. It’s making my mouth water. She’s staring at me like I’m crazy, when suddenly her gaze clears as she realizes what I’m asking.
“Do you trust me?” I whisper.
The way she’s pressed into me like this, I know she can feel how hard I am against her ass. Any minute now, she could jump up and leave and everything could suddenly spiral out of control. But she doesn’t move. Either she’s too shocked, or she wants this just as much as I do.
Slowly, she nods, and I think I might lose it. There are no more safety buffers here. No Kirk. No mission to complete. Just me and her on the couch, and I tip us past the point of no return, my hand gliding up to her stomach. I feel her muscles tense, and I hold out for few seconds, wanting to make sure we’re on the same page.I need this so bad.Because I can’t get it out of my head. Because I need to see this fantasy through to the end—live out the movie that plays in my mind every fucking time I see her.
My fingers graze tentatively the hem of her shorts—she doesn’t stop me. The only thing that changes is her breath, picking up as I start inching my way toward her center.
I watch as she closes her eyes and parts her lips in silence, and I can’t take it anymore. My fingers move like they’ve got a mind of their own, desperate to satisfy this pressure that’s been building for days.There it is—my resolution. The one thing I hadn’t done this year. And the only way for us to get back to normal.
I probably should say something, but instead I decide to kiss that damn neck of hers, inhaling her in. She takes a sharp breath in, her back arching in response. She whimpers when her ass grinds against my dick, and things ramp up as I let out a guttural sound I barely recognize. I start sucking at her skin in earnest, nipping at her as I slowly peel back her waistband. She clenches her thighs, and I pause. Her breath is ragged. I watch her writhing on the couch, praying she doesn’t stop me. Then one leg falls open, inviting me in.Thank fuck.
I find her bare underneath, and I think I might just have died and gone to heaven. Another groan escapes me when I feel how wet she is for me. My fingers part her lips as I slowly slide between her folds, burrowing deeper down. After that, it all goes a little hazy.
I’m used to going hard and fast, but with Lois, I take it slow. Just a single finger and she’s already panting. I slide it in and out, my thumb gently circling her clit, savoring the way she squirms beneath me. When I add a second, her whole body starts to tremble. I listen to every sound she makes, how she moans, how she moves, holding her close while covering her neck and mouth with kisses. I reach out with my other arm, lace my fingers through hers, and pin her hand above her head. I feel my pulse quicken as her fingers tighten over mine. Each slow, deliberate thrust between her legs draws a fresh moan from her lips. Then she grabs my wrist with her free hand, steadying herself—and starts to move with me, riding my hand like maybe I’m not the only one who can’t get enough.Fuck. That’s it, baby.
Her scent is everywhere now, something floral cut through with a musky saltiness that makes my mouth water even more—and I’m on fire. What was supposed to feel weird feels so incredibly right, and my cock is aching for more. Sweet torture overwhelms me as my hips buck against her ass, struggling to hold back, every nerve begging to let go. I want to hear her scream my name, and I wasn’t expecting to feel this way. I shake off the thought and move faster, nudging Lois to the edge,pushing her toward the moment of release.Then I’ll be able to move on, then I’ll be able to…
Her orgasm hits hard, rippling from my fingers to her throat. She tightens around me, shuddering, and my mind goes entirely blank. I’m left completely drained—well, except for the ache between my legs. Lois catches her breath, gulping in the air, and my lightheadedness clears as I come crashing back down to reality. My fingers are still inside her, my lips against her skin. I feel exposed and undone all at once.Shit.This was supposed to make things easier, but everything suddenly seems a thousand times more complicated. I’m too scared to move.
I’m still stuck in my head, when someone pounds at the front door. Lois and I jolt upright, and the banging gets harder. I jump to my feet, frowning. Jesus Christ. I’ve got a raging hard-on—every step hurts like hell.
“Oh, Laaaaney!” Lewis calls through the keyhole.
Lois yelps and makes a dash for the corridor.
“Come on, open up.” I recognize Donovan’s voice.
What the fuck are they doing here?I open the door a crack to find the entire Campus Drivers crew on the other side, along with Carter and Becca.
“Heading in!” Lewis barges past me and into the apartment. “The party was so lame we left.”
Don and Adam follow suit, back-slapping me as they go, Carter peering at me as if he already knows what they’ve just walked in on. I lock eyes with him. I’m too rattled to look away. I can’t decide whether I hate them or I’m grateful they arrived just in time to stop a fallout with Lois. All I know is that I’m an absolute mess. And I need to jerk off immediately.
24LOIS
I slam my hands against the bathroom door to hold it shut, as if the others might barge in. There’s no way they can see me like this. No way. I can’t even bring myself to check the mirror. I don’t know this version of myself. I’ve never met her before.Fuck, I just… Fuck!
I try to regulate my breathing, torn between wanting to laugh and cry. I have no idea how Lane managed to open the door and let those guys in—my legs are like Jell-O, I can hardly stand.Oh my God! What was he thinking? Like “Happy New Year, Lois! Here, let me stuff my hand in your pants to celebrate!” What kind of fucked-up resolution is that? And why did I roll with it?Playing the wide-eyed innocent is all well and good—but who am I kidding? I could have said no, and I didn’t. Because ever since we kissed on the beach, I can’t get that moment out of my head. My plan was to slam my walls up and bury it all deep inside me. I did my best to play it cool. I figured that night was small change to him. I latched on to this idea that Kirk was the only guy in the world for me, but I’m struggling to keep the faith. Lane’s whole attitude, everything he said to me before he started… My head is spinning.
“Lois?” Becca calls out from the living room. “What are you doing?”
Fighting for my life.And kind of waiting for Lane to come knockon the door and help me get my head straight. But the minutes tick by, and there’s still no sign of him. Time to face the music, I guess. It’s not like I can hide away in the bathroom forever.
I force myself to stroll back into the living room as casually as I can, slapping a cool, calm, and collected look on my face. I flash the boys a quick smile and wave at my friend before ducking behind the fridge. I kill a little time examining our groceries and consider rearranging them by alphabetic order, desperately dragging my feet.
