“It was just to make Kirk jealous!”
That’s a lie—but I can’t handle the truth. Lane’s breath catches. He pulls back, and the way he’s looking at me is unbearably intense. I can’t meet his eye, so I decide to focus on my brothers instead. Lane has stopped pressing into me, but I’m suffocating all the same. I feel like a deer in headlights.
He pushes himself off me, freeing me. Without missing a beat, without even stopping to process how weird his reaction was, I start to run, my legs numb and heavy because of the sand. It’s got to be the sand.
The music is trailing off into the distance as I press on down the beach, desperate to outrun the shame pooling in my throat, desperate to put distance between myself and the crazy butterflies that fluttered while Lane was kissing me, touching me the way Kirk never did.
The thought alone gets me swaying on my feet. I haven’t forgotten how things were with Kirk—I know I haven’t. So why does it feel like I’ve never felt this way before? Shit, I’m so confused. It’s my own fault for playing with fire, I remind myself. What the hell was I thinking?
I slow to a walk, breathing hard, gasping for air. I need to get my head straight and try to make sense of what just happened. I was annoyed, plus a little drunk and a whole lot stupid—that’s all there is to it. It’s not exactly rocket science. Lane helped me out because he’s my friend, but he’s never been into me like that, not even a little bit. Nothing has changed. We were just messing around. It’s not like I have feelings for him. All of this was because of Kirk.
I repeat it over and over, so caught up in my thoughts that I barely even remember making it home.
23LANE
The sun is spilling in through the blinds, but I’m already wide awake. Lois and I got back yesterday afternoon. Classes start up again in a week, so I should be making the most of this and treating myself to an epic sleep-in—instead, I’m staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what the hell happened down at the beach back in Florida.
I wish I could forget it ever happened, but I can’t stop reliving the moment. This whole situation is driving me completely nuts, and the worst thing is, Lois hasn’t even mentioned it. Not once. I thought she’d say something the next morning—but nope. Nada. Sure, I sensed she was a little embarrassed over breakfast, but she just shook it off and went back to acting like normal. When she fell asleep against me on the flight back to Sycamore I nearly jumped out of my seat and activated the damn oxygen masks.
Because yeah, I’m on edge—but seriously, what did I expect? The whole thing was just to piss Kirk off. It didn’t mean anything. I have no reason to be mad about it… but still. I’m so pissed she just ran away, like what we did was shameful or something. I’m pissed at her dick of an ex and the way he keeps weaseling his way back into her life. And I’m just so pissed ather. Her and her damn tongue—soft and warm and wet—that I can still feel in my mouth.
“Fucking stop it!” I chastise myself, springing out of bed and heading straight for the shower.
Once I’m dressed, I make a beeline for the coffeepot. As I’m pouring myself a cup, I look over at Lois. She’s out cold on the couch, as if nothing ever happened.Yeah. Because nothing ever did, you moron!She stirs in her sleep, burying her head in the pillow, the comforter slipping off onto the ground, offering up a flash of skimpy pajamas. Though they’re a faded gray and scattered with a freaking sheep pattern, I’m starting to get hot all of a sudden. In fact, they’re making me want to rip them off her and pick up where we left off.
With every sip of coffee, my imagination wanders.
I picture walking over, sliding my hands under her T-shirt, her lips against mine…
Enough!
My boxers feel way too tight right now.
I lean my elbows against the kitchen island and exhale loudly. I glance over at the couch. Lois is stirring again, muttering nonsense in her sleep, turning over onto her side.
Great, now her ass is right there in front of me. I slam my cup down on the counter.Jesus fucking Christ.There’s no way I’m letting things change between us. Yeah, I loved the taste of her tongue, how her ass filled my hands, the warmth spreading between her legs—it’s just a human reaction. It’ll pass.This is Lois, for fuck’s sake!
“Come on! Rise and shine!”
I have no reason to wake her up, but I need to snap out of this. I need her to stop making me feel this way.
“But we’re on break!” she murmurs.
She rolls onto her back and looks at me, squinting. I squint back. She sticks her tongue out at me, and I return the favor.That’s more like it. That I can handle.
She pads over to the kitchen, rubbing her eyes and stealing my coffee mug. She drains it before slinking off to the bathroom, yawning. I pour myself a fresh cup and shake my head. What happened inFort Myers stays in Fort Myers, and that’s for the best—or so I keep telling myself, anyway.
Lois drifts back into the room. “What time you leaving?”
She’s talking about the New Year’s Eve party tonight. The one she doesn’t want to go to. Half the campus will be there, plus plenty of drink and girls, but I just don’t feel like it this year.
“Late afternoon. Sure you don’t want to come? Becca’s going,” I add.
“I’m sure. I’m exhausted—maybe I’m coming down with something. I just want to chill.”
Why do I get the feeling she’s not being straight with me? I step toward her and lay the back of my hand against her forehead. I want to kiss it so bad, but I hold strong.
“Quit playing nurse with me!” She laughs, brushing me off.
