Just like I’m trying to dismiss myself again. Just this morning, I thought I should disappear because I’d ruined things so badly with Stone.
But that’s how I’ve spent my life—hiding, shrinking, slipping into invisibility because it was easier than allowing myself to be seen.
Stone gave me the power to let myself be looked at. Why would I take that away just because he left me? And rightly so, of course. What I did to him, how I kept up the lie, is reprehensible.
But just because he’s gone, does it mean I should allow myself to suffer, too?
It doesn’t seem right.
I hug Brittany and she hugs me back. This might be the first time in forever we’ve actually done this, and it feels right. A lifetime of sadness, bitterness, and jealousy washes out of me, and I allow myself to see things from her perspective.
We’ve both been trapped in what we thought the world was, but it turns out we were wrong. We’ve seen each other as the competition, but that isn’t the truth. We were never supposed to be against one another.
We were supposed to be on the same side, and I see that now.
Better late than never.
“Thank you,” I tell her when we part.
“For what?”
“For telling me. I had no idea.”
“Me neither.” We stare at each other for a beat before she says, “Now. Go out there and get back your man.”
“What?”
“Just kidding. But if you do decide to go after Stone, call me. I’ll be your backup.”
I laugh and head home. In a couple of days, I return to work.
There’s no telling what I’ll face when I arrive.
Chapter 46
Stone
Nothing can make me feel better.
Not even Hercules.
Not that I want to. If there’s anything that reminds a person they’re human, it’s pain and suffering.
How could Coco have lied to me for so long?
That isn’t love.
It’s betrayal.
It’s the depth and breadth of the lie that hurts. For weeks she could have revealed the truth, but she let me fall in love with her. She let mebelievethe lie ... and that’s unforgivable.
It’s Monday morning and I’m back at the construction site, ready to dig into work, get things moving.
I stayed the rest of the weekend with Pane, who helped me break into my phone and laptop. Man, did I have a few thousand emails to sift through. Answering them kept me busy all of yesterday and helped keep my mind off Coco.
Mostly.
She got in there every once in a while, like when Hercules wanted to be petted.
