He pulls back, taking his delicious body heat with him. Now I’m suddenly very cold (insert frowny-face emoji).
Devlin runs a hand through his thick hair. “I’m sorry, Blair. I didn’t mean to mislead you.”
Mislead me? Exactly how was he misleading me, because I thought that we were on the same page.
But then I get it. This is just horny old Devlin who can’t stop being the player that he is. Why would I think that he’d care about anyone’s feelings other than his own? Of course he doesn’t. He can’t. It’s impossible for him to concern himself with others.
And I was just played.
“Mislead me into a mistake, you mean,” I spit bitterly.
I push off the wall, and without looking back, I leave the lab, heading upstairs for my room and wishing that I’d packed my vibrator.
Of course I’m screwed on that end, too, because I didn’t.
Well then, looks like I’ll have to do things the old-fashioned way.
16
DEVLIN
What am I doing? What’s wrong with me?
I only need Blair for the vision. I can’t let her get under my skin.
Oh, I’d like for her skin to be under me, all right.
Stop. It.
I’m replaying what happened back there, trying to pinpoint the exact moment when I lost control. The womb was about to explode. I was afraid that she would die. Maybe not die but be injured.
So I picked her up and shielded her. When I wrapped my arms around Blair, I felt her heart fluttering, felt her body tense against me.
Feelings I suppose a psychiatrist would say that I’d locked inside of me were let go, and I felt.
A lot.
I experienced regret for betraying her, regret that I can’t be with her, sadness that this isn’t the way that I want things to go.
And then something snapped.
I didn’t want to listen to that voice inside of me anymore, the one who keeps telling me what I’m supposed to do. Instead I wanted to listen to a new voice, one that releases me.
So I did.
And when I pulled away, all these damned emotions that I’ve been bottling up, hiding inside of myself, just released like Old Faithful. When I looked at her, all I wanted to do was own her, take her, but I wanted to do it gently.
And I wanted to see if she wanted it, too. If she could begin to forgive me for lying to her, for making her believe in something that never even happened.
Well, guess I got that answer, didn’t I?
Now I’m being tortured for acting on my desires. I can’t stop thinking about how silky her skin was, or about how good her lips felt on mine.
I wonder how they’d feel wrapped around my?—
A knock comes from my bedroom door. Please don’t let it be Blair. My cock’s hard as a rock, and I don’t have a pillow to hide it behind because I’m not in my bed. I’m getting dressed for the ball.
“Come in.”
