“I caught him, Blissful! I caught him!”
I sprinted to the side of the house. Alice and Ruth stood by the hedges. Alice’s net was planted firmly atop the azalea bush.
“He’s over here and I got him,” Alice said proudly.
Ruth had her BB gun pointed at the bush. She spat on the ground. “Whoever you are, come out nice and slowly unless you want a crotch full of BBs.”
I flexed my fingers. I couldn’t wait to see who it was.
TWENTY
Alice’s knuckles whitened as she gripped the net’s handle. “Whoever you are, you come out of there nice and slow.”
“Don’t think of doing anything funny or else you’ll end up full of BBs,” Ruth added. “I’ve got my gun pointed on you, so take it easy.”
Clearly these two ladies had everything completely under control. What was I even doing here?
Alice coaxed the lurker from the bushes. The person eased from the hedge until they stood under the wash of the neighborhood streetlamps.
“Birda,” Ruth gasped. “What on earth are you doing here?”
Birda, twigs springing from her beehive and a snarl on her face, glared at the three of us. “I was out on a nightly stroll when I was accosted by Alice Cassidy and her net.”
Alice stared at Birda. “That’s a bunch of bull malarkey and you know it. There is no way you were out for a stroll here at Blissful’s house unless you were up to something.”
“I would aim to agree,” Ruth said.
“I would aim,” Birda snapped, “that the two of y’all have no idea what I was up to and that you’ve accosted an innocent woman and are threatening to fill her with BBs.”
“You’re standing on my property,” I said. Technically the house was a rental, but I wasn’t about to split hairs with a woman I didn’t trust.
Birda’s head shook. She looked mad enough to spit nails. I wouldn’t have been surprised if her head had popped plumb off and skyrocketed into space.
“Would you get this stupid net off me?” she exploded.
Alice shot me a questioning look. I nodded.
Alice tugged, but one of the twigs tangled up in the net. Whenever she yanked, Birda’s entire beehive hairdo yanked with it.
“Ow,” Birda screeched. “You’re pulling my hair!”
Stress made Alice’s voice turn into a high-pitched wail. “I’m trying to get the net off you.”
“You’re not doing something right because it hurts!”
Ruth handed me the BB gun. “Will the two of y’all stop flapping your jaws? Let me help.”
I held the gun point down. Ruth marched over and tried to untangle the net. “This one twig doesn’t want to cooperate.”
“Then cut the net,” Birda demanded.
“You can’t cut this net,” Alice argued. “It’s my best fishing net.”
“Since when do you fish for salmon?” Ruth said.
Alice paused. “Well, it would be my best fishing net if I ever fished. But that’s why I bought it, for when I go. I’ll have it and won’t have to buy another.”
“For goodness’ sake,” Birda snapped, “who buys a fishing net in case they’re going to go fishing? That’s ridiculous.”
