“You reckon correctly.” I stared at the two-seater side-by-side. “But where is it?”
“It’s on the driver’s side.” Ruth patted my shoulder. “Don’t worry. It’s bolted on. It can’t come off without power tools.”
“For some reason that doesn’t make me feel any better.”
Alice glanced at her watch. “We’d better get going, Blissful. The line’s going to be long for Cora. She knew just about everybody in town.”
I grabbed my jacket and girded my loins for the ride over. “Okay. I’m ready.”
Turned out, I would’ve rather sat in the bed of the ATV trying to avoid an army of bloodsucking ticks than in the sidecar. First of all, my knees were scrunched up to my chin.
Secondly I didn’t know where Ruth’s nephew bought the thing from, but it smelled like whoever had owned it before had suffered from a serious case of body order.
It was like whiffing an onion patch on steroids.
Worse, I was convinced I reeked by the time we reached the home.
“Alice,” I said, pushing myself from the car. “Smell me. Do I smell like onions to you?”
Alice waddled over, took one sniff and made a face full of disgust. She quickly recovered. “Why no, Blissful. Not at all.”
I frowned. “You’re a horrible liar.”
Alice sniffed the sidecar and then me. “Ew. That is no good. Well, I guess you won’t be sitting in there on the way back.”
I stared at the heavens and shook my head, silently askingwhy me?“No, I won’t be sitting in there on the way back. I’ll be just fine sitting in the bed.”
Ruth finished securing a steering wheel lock and came over. I hated to tell her but with the stench wafting off the sidecar, she didn’t have to take any extra precautions on the vehicle. The stench alone was the best anti-theft invented.
“What’s all this commotion?”
I splayed my arms. “Whoever you bought this side car from had a serious case of body odor.” I lifted my arm. “Smell me.”
Ruth backed up immediately. She rubbed her chin. “I reckon that must’ve been old Tommy Ray. He always did smell ripe.”
“And now I stink for the visitation.”
Alice pulled a pouch of Wet Wipes from her purse. “Don’t you worry, Blissful. We’ll have you smelling like lemon in no time.”
I wiped my clothes down, and Alice spritzed me with a bottle of rose water she carried in her purse. I’d never seen anything but cookies come out of that bag, but suddenly Alice was pulling a Mary Poppins on me.
I had to admit it was impressive.
We headed into the home. I kept myself to the wall, afraid my stench would gain its own reputation.
Alice leaned over. “What’s the plan, Blissful?”
“The plan,” Francine’s voice boomed beside me, “is for me to identify anyone I saw with the dead lady.”
Francine floated to us through a sea of mourners. “Wow. This is some sad party. Remind me not to die anytime soon.”
“You’re already dead,” I whispered.
“Oh yeah, that’s right.” She stared at the sad faces. “Well, remind me not to look so glum about it. Nothing you can do once you’re dead except roll with the punches. Look at me! I got kicked out of the Oaks and ended up becoming the new Backwoods Banshee. I’d say I’ve done all right for myself.”
“I’ll say,” I said.
Ruth’s gaze snapped to mine. “The banshee—is she here?”
