Blood rushes in her ears. “What about devils?”
“Devils?” he asks, sitting up.
“What happens when a devil takes a bite of your soul?”
“That wouldn’t happen.”
“What do you mean?”
“A devil would never stop with just one bite. A devil would want it all.”
Dorian’s devilish face flashes in her mind—his teeth dripping with her blood.
A pang of fear is followed by excitement. If he wants more of her soul, she can use that to her advantage whenever she’s able to see him again. Perhaps if she offers it in exchange for changing Cassius’s fate, he will say yes. Dangerous as it is, he’s the strongest hope she has.
Unless—
An idea strikes her: Marcherie said Triche can’t die because he’s going to ascend, and so long as he’s working on his trials, he is protected by the gods. If Cassius were to begin his godly trials before his death date, would they save him?
That must be what Triche wants for him, too. Perfect immortality. Protection that only gods can provide.
Triche may have threatened her with expulsion, but now she thinks they’re actually on the same side here. They both want nothing more than to keep Cassius safe.
“What holds you back?” she asks, eager to push him towardgodhood because it’s the first idea that’s given her hope. For whatever reason, she can’t get to the Realm of Nightmares, can’t speak to Dorian, can’t beg him to save Cassius for her.
For now, Triche helping Cassius ascend is her best bet.
Cassius tucks her hair behind her ear and strokes his thumb along her cheek. “Ascension requires one to sacrifice everything. You have to give up all earthly tethers—your heart, your humanity. I don’t know if I can.” He’s staring intensely as if trying to memorize her features. “Not anymore, at least.”
“What does that mean? Something changed?”
“Yes.”
“What is it?”
“What do you think?”
She sucks in a breath. So, it’s her fault. Everything they are, whatever is between them, is keeping him from godhood.
And it’s going to get him killed.
She can’t let it. She can’t keep him. She told herself she would do whatever it takes to save him—even if that means breaking both of their hearts.
Sadness rips through her chest over what she has to say next. “You can’t sacrifice potential godhood, Cassius. I think you need to tell Triche that you’re choosing his path over me.”
Cassius furrows his brow. “You want me to lie to him?”
“No. I want you to make the right decision.”
“Claudia,” he says, half prayer.
Her breath hitches at the sound of her name. “Trust me. I’m not worth—”
He cuts her off with a desperate, tender kiss. At his touch, the universe itself ignites. His fingers curl in her hair while he holds her close, his other hand firm at the small of her back, inching down. She brings her hands to his face, holding either side, keeping him locked in the kiss as if she’s terrified to open her eyes and find he was never there at all. If this were only a matter of heart, she would give in to Cassius like autumn submitting to winter.
But Cassius still has to be saved, somehow. He’s still dying, even here, even now, when it feels like they both have only just started living.
“Cassius,” she whimpers into his mouth.
