“Don’t apologize. Just feel. I have you. I won’t let you go.”
This is worse than a nightmare—this is an inescapable, undeniable, unchangeable reality.
She would stay in his arms forever if she could. If he would live. If there was anything she could do to keep him safe.
Cassius has become her everything. He pushes her to learn more, to create more, to be more than she ever thought she could. He is the constant coffee in her favorite mug, the ink drying in her notebook, the candle burning on her desk through the night while she reads. He sees her, all of her rage and desire and envyand promise, and he makes her better. He’s the reason she’s finally met the best and truest version of herself. She decides, now, that she will not let him die, whatever the cost. She will burn through every single star if that’s what it takes to save him. Her decision may as well be carved in stone, inked in skin. Irrevocable, unchangeable.
Cassius MacLeod is not dying. She will not let him.
The clock chimes three times. They are now free to leave, but Cassius doesn’t move a muscle. For a few minutes, they remain perfectly still, wrapped in each other’s arms, stealing time away from everything else.
Neither of them can be the first to let go.
Claudia looks up, her lashes fluttering at his jaw. “What now?”
He pushes her hair out of her face and tucks it behind her ear. “Well, I’ll walk you back to your room and draw you a bath, and then I’ll go tell Triche that I’m choosing you,” he says.
“What? Cassius, you shouldn’t. You’ll lose everything.”
His eyes are soft and wet when he looks down at her. “I could never give you up.”
“He called me poison, Cas. What if he was right?”
He laughs. “Poison me.” He ends his sentence with a soft kiss to her lips, and Claudia feels like she’s floating. He’s so warm, so alive, and she’s going to keep him that way.
Cassius pulls back, smiling as he guides her to the door.
Claudia twists the handle, but it won’t turn all the way. She tries again with a hard pull and a quick shove, but it doesn’t budge.
“Is it jammed?” Cassius asks, trying his luck with the handle and meeting the same result.
“It’s locked from the outside,” Claudia says, her voice hollow.
He tries the handle again and kicks the door once. “Shit.”
Claudia knocks on it, testing the thickness of the wood with her fist. “I don’t think we could break it down.”
Cassius ponders, pursing his lips. “Someone will come for us soon. We’ll just wait for a little bit.” His eyes slide to Claudia, and he offers her his hand. He leads her to the center of the room and takes off his black robes, revealing his white shirt and black pants underneath. He lays his robes on the ground like a blanket and sits down, gazing up at her.
“Would you like to lie here with me and pretend that nothing and no one else exists?”
Her cheeks turn red. That’s all she wants.
She slips her robes off, too, so she’s wearing only a light pink chemise. Lying down beside him, she rests her head on his shoulder and stares up at the ceiling.
TRAPPED
Each God reigns over two spheres, with neither taking precedence over the other.Imbalance risks devilry.
The Book of Cygnus: Ascension 3:21–22
For hours, they lie on their backs, staring up at the ceiling and talking.
Talking, talking, talking. It’s one of those conversations that keeps circling back to other parts of itself. They’re creating inside jokes and sharing secrets. They’re laughing until they have tears in their eyes. They’re touching each other innocently just because they can. When they’ve been lying down for too long, they sit up and pull each other close. Claudia wraps her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck. Her head rests on his shoulder while he strokes her back and answers all her questions with sweet whispers in her ear.
Though they don’t see it now, this moment is something they’ll both remember for the rest of their lives.
Before this talk, Claudia couldn’t tell you his mother’s name, or his favorite color, or if he’s ever had a pet, or his favorite meal, or really anything that could prove she knows him.
