Kari surprised herself as much as the men when she was the one who said, “You haveeveryreason.”
Ian looked at her a long moment, his smile illuminated by the interior lights. Finally, he told Connor, “Come sit down. Please.”
The actor walked back over, seated himself, and went on. “For a couple of days now, I’ve been surrounded by this huge looming shadow. This black nothingness. Thinking about here, Miami, leaves me feeling like it’s about to swallow me whole.”
Kari stared at the hand holding her own and felt the words rise up, a great hot balloon of emotions and memories and needs that forced itself out into the open. Finally. “I’ve spent my entire life in hiding. It’s the only way I knew to protect my gift, my one reason for wanting to keep on living. When I came to Miramar, I thought I was making a new hiding place. One I could call my own. Instead . . .”
Connor shifted in his seat. Leaned forward. Watching her. “What’s happened?”
“It’s all so new, I don’t know if I can put it in words. But I think . . . Maybe it’s time I grow beyond my comfort zone. Not stop hiding. But make room for more. More people, more experiences, more life. The thought absolutely terrifies me. I’m afraid I’ll lose my gift. That I’ll open myself up to attack. Something I can’t handle and still paint. The fears mostly strike in the middle of the night. Then I wake up, and I paint like I’ve never painted in my entire life. It just flows out, this huge torrent of colors and impressions and . . .”
Ian asked softly, “And now?”
She felt his power coursing through the hand holding hers, an electric current strong enough to help her say, “The fears and the joy. It’s this huge tumbling mass. Then something strikes, like the gala and my itinerary, and I feel like it’s all about to come crashing down around me.”
Ian’s gaze was as strong as his hold on her hand. “How can I help?”
“Be who you are. Do exactly what you’re doing. Shielding me. Showing me a way through. Keeping me safe.” She released his hand so as to wrap her arm around him. Leaned in close. “I’m such a mess, Ian. I’m this bundle of fragments that come together only when I paint.”
“I think you are the most amazing woman I have ever known.”
She hid her face for a time in the fold of his neck. Then, “Tell Connor about Indrid.”
