Amos went on. “You’re wrong, what I thought of Elaine. I knew she didn’t approve of me. So I took a giant step back. All the same, I saw how things weren’t getting better between you two, the emotional bruises you carried most times we met. I’ve been concerned she was going to break your heart. That she’d feel like it was her right to hit you at your lowest point. Like you deserved to be crushed. So no, I didn’t dislike her then. But I sure do now.”
“Maybe I did deserve it.”
“And maybe your job in life isn’t to be perfect, but to do your best. Did you?”
“I tried. Given the circumstances. Hard as I could. I tried.”
“Elaine is a lady who wants her man to treat her like she’s the center of her universe. That’s what would keep her happy.”
Noah thought of Elaine’s parents, the way her father had doted on both his girls. Right to his last breath. “I guess I knew that all along.”
“That’s not your nature. It never has been. You’ve got dreams of your own. Goals that had nothing to do with what Elaine wanted. She was jealous of your dreams. She saw them as competition.”
Noah rubbed the spot over his aching heart and watched the cottonwood trees weave scripts in the rising wind. “I loved her. So much.”
“I know you did.”
“Truth be told, I still do.”
Amos waved a hand, like he was swatting at passing shadows. “You want my opinion, it’s time to move on.”
“Elaine would probably agree with you.”
“See, it’s not about her anymore. Which is what I want to talk with you about. When you’re ready to listen.”
Noah heard the sharp tone. The sort of edge a father might use on a son who was leaning toward that wrong and fateful step. He wanted to shout at the man, challenge Amos’s right to talk down like that. Treat his hurt as trivial. Or whatever.
Noah rose from his chair and took a slow circuit around the yard. The family’s massive mixed-breed came over and gave him a careful sniff, then drifted away. He knew his rage had little to do with Amos and his words. It was all about someone finally telling him what he needed to hear. Noah could almost hear the links to his past being broken. The life he wanted to claim. The worlds he wanted to conquer. Gone. Whether he liked it or not.
When he was ready, Noah returned to his chair. Not liking what the man had said, nor his manner. Barking like a cop. Not liking it one bit.
But that didn’t mean Noah wasn’t in need of just that sort of message.
Amos took Noah’s return as his time to ask, “What are you planning on doing now?”
Noah replied, “You know what I’ve been hoping.”
“A boat. A trip. Come back when you’re good and ready. I know.”
“Between giving Elaine half of everything, and not getting nearly what I deserve for the company, that dream is just another thing I’ve left in my rearview mirror.”
“You sure about that, are you?”
“Pretty certain, yeah.” He leaned over and retrieved his mug. “Buying a boat is only the start of what it costs. And the kind of seagoing vessel I was after . . .”
“Expensive.”
“Out of reach.”
“Not to mention how you’ll need a place to live. When you decide to spend a night on steady ground. Where folks are meant to be.”
Noah had the distinct impression Amos had tucked a smile firmly out of sight. “Where are you going with this?”
He rose to his feet. “What say you and I take a ride.”
CHAPTER2
The San Luis Obispo police storage unit was located in arid scrubland south of the Morro Bay main highway. Buildings and warehouses and acres of equipment were rimmed by rusting metal fence and razor wire. Though why anyone would want to break into this place was beyond Noah. As they rose from Amos’s Wagoneer, dry desert heat struck at him from all sides. “What are we doing here?”
